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Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time

Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time GmJx
Islom: All people are different. Some people do not change their hobbies and interests. Another people do modern things. I agree with the idea, while this essay analyzes my viewpoint Firstly, there is each person's hobby. If some people did what they liked, when their young, they may not do it in the future. As if you played a game and finished that game and you have to play this game it again. As if this game is like a daily rountine too. I think, which no one likes same things. Nowdays, many people change their occupation. For example, economists, because they sit in the same place during the day. This reason, people do not notice that time has passed. After, people look for interesting jobs. Everybody want to have a well time Secondly, a lot of people live in step with the time. They spend their time differently every day. For example, one day, they go to the intertainment facilities. For instance, clubs, cinemas and theatres. Another day, they play a football, basketball and so on. And so, they are dealing with things that are becoming more modern. They go to the best places and get a video clip and cinema. Such things will make your life better. In conclusion, it is up to each individual to change their hobbies and interests. I believe, if a person changes his hobbies and interests, he will live a better life
Possible spelling mistake found.
Islom
:

All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
and interests. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do modern things. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, while this essay analyzes my
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
viewpoint


Firstly
, there is each person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
. If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did what they liked, when their young, they may not do it in the future. As if you played a game and finished that game and you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
play this game it again.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
if this game is like a daily
Possible spelling mistake found.
rountine
too. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, which no one likes same things.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowdays
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their occupation.
For example
, economists,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they sit in the same place during the day. This reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not notice that time has passed. After,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
look for interesting jobs. Everybody
The pronoun 'Everybody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to have a well time

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in step with the time. They spend their time
differently
every day.
For example
, one day, they go to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
intertainment
facilities.
For instance
, clubs, cinemas and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
. Another day, they play a football, basketball and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they are dealing with things that are becoming more modern. They go to the best places and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a video clip and cinema. Such things will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your life better.

In conclusion
, it is up to each individual to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
and interests. I believe, if a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
and interests, he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a better
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life
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IELTS essay Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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