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Some people feel that the effects of advertising are positive for individuals and businesses, while others think they are negative. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

People have different views about whether or not advertisements have benefit for citizens and the global economy. While some argue that advertisement have a negative influence on the pattern on expenditure and consumption. I believe that it has brought a significant positive impact on human life. There are various reasons why people believe that advertisements might be negative part of our lives. From a psychological perspective, advertisements manipulate people’s minds. It is obvious, advertisements persuading people that buying products that will make them happier, success and with higher social status. For instance, when well-known company lunched their new products in the market, which are so expensive, people tend to buy it even if they have one. In addition, the dominant aim of advertisers is to target children because the young age group easily influenced by commercials. By doing this youngsters pester their parents to buy certain product might have ill effect on families economy. In spite of these arguments, I believe that there are many reasons to the advantage of advertisement. There have been a clear link between creative industries of advertisement and increase the employment rate. Advertisement companies generate job opportunities for many people, which means it has a vital role in economic development. By doing this the rate of unemployment would be decreased and it provides occupation for artists, painting, preparing logos. Moreover, thanks to advertisements, customers would be informed about the newly-launched product. It is clear that customers might easily compare products in terms of features and price. Therefore, firms and citizens gain huge profit from marketing products. In conclusion, I fully support the view that people who consider that advertisements can have a positive effect on human life. Advertisements firms would help creative people to find jobs and citizens get information about demanding products.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have benefit for citizens and the global economy. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on the pattern on expenditure and consumption. I believe that it has brought a significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on human life.

There are various reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. From a psychological perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
manipulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
minds. It is obvious,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
persuading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happier, success and with higher social status.
For instance
, when well-known
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
lunched their new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the market, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
expensive,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it even if they have one.
In addition
, the dominant aim of advertisers is to target children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the young age group
easily
influenced by commercials. By doing
Did you mean "these"?
this
youngsters pester their parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
might have ill effect on
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "families'" or "family's"?
families
economy.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
these arguments, I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons to the advantage of advertisement.

There have been a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
link between creative industries of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
and increase the employment rate.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
generate job opportunities for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which means it has a vital role in economic development. By doing this the rate of unemployment would
be decreased
and it provides occupation for artists, painting, preparing logos.
Moreover
, thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, customers would
be informed
about the
newly
-launched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that customers might
easily
compare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in terms of features and price.
Therefore
, firms and citizens gain huge

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
profit
from marketing products.

In conclusion
, I
fully
support the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on human life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
firms would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find jobs and citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information about demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
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IELTS essay Some people feel that the effects of advertising are positive for individuals and businesses, while others think they are negative.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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