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Some people feel that the effects of advertising are positive for individual and business, while others think that they are negative. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that the effects of advertising are positive for individual and business, while others think that they are negative. jRPmN
It is believed by large masses of people that the commercials have positive impact on the person. However, opponents argue that advertisement has negative impacts. This essay will shed light on both sides of the argument in the following paragraphs. To begin, in this present age, commercials and advertisement has great significance in people's life. As compared to past, people do not have to spend large time on thinking what sorts of clothes, things they need to buy. Due to the advancement in such commercials, business and companies are easily able to attract myarids of customers. Furthermore, an individual can easily recognize the choice of their favorite stuffs either by watching from TV or phones. To cite an example, a plumber watching television sees an advertise about the tool which he was looking from a long time in a considerable price in his own locality. As a result, he is able to find things just by sitting on his sofa and keeping his eyes on the screen. Thus, advertisements assists people in making their life much more convenient and easier. On the flip side, such commercials has greatly affected the children's mindset, thus, making parents tired of their child's insisting manner. Additionally, the commercials have compelled the young children to conceive their parents for buying gadgets and expensive gifts which they see on the TV. It is especially tough for the middle class families who are struggling financially. Not only this, the advertisements that we see on the televisions are nothing but just an illusion created to manipulate us. For instance, the product we see on TV may not exactly be the same when we receive in real life. To sum up, such commercials has many important in fostering business and aids people by managing their time and potential of wandering the whole market, though it may have some demerits its disadvantages do not outweigh its advantages.
It
is believed
by large masses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that the commercials have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the person.
However
, opponents argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts. This essay will shed light on both sides of the argument in the following paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, in this present age, commercials and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has great significance in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life. As compared to past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend large time on thinking what sorts of clothes, things they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
. Due to the advancement in such commercials, business and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are
easily
able to attract
Possible spelling mistake found.
myarids
of customers.
Furthermore
, an individual can
easily
recognize the choice of their favorite stuffs either by watching from TV or phones. To cite an example, a plumber watching television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
an
The word 'advertise' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "advertisement"?
advertise
about the tool which he was looking from a long time in a considerable price in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
locality.
As a result
, he is able to find things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by sitting on his sofa and keeping his eyes on the screen.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
assists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in making their life much more convenient and easier. On the flip side, such commercials has
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the children's mindset,
thus
, making parents tired of their child's insisting manner.
Additionally
, the commercials have compelled the young children to conceive their parents for buying gadgets and expensive gifts which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on the TV. It is
especially
tough for the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families who are struggling
financially
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on the televisions are nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
an illusion created to manipulate us.
For instance
, the product we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on TV may not exactly be the same when we receive in real life. To sum up, such commercials has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in fostering business and aids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by managing their time and potential of wandering the whole market, though it may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits its disadvantages do not outweigh its advantages.
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IELTS essay Some people feel that the effects of advertising are positive for individual and business, while others think that they are negative.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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