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some people feel that the effect of advertising are positive for individual and business while other thing they are negative discuss both sides and give your opinion

some people feel that the effect of advertising are positive for individual and business while other thing they are negative discuss both sides and give your opinion 0q23
In the new modern society, every business community wants to wide their business by advertising. Some people believe that advertising plays an essential role to improve business, while other things that due to advertising, people by fake materials. I believe that advertising is a beneficial way to promote business. On the one side, advertising is a huge opportunity to promote products worldwide via newspaper, social media and television etc. In this case demands of products will be raised dramatically. In Pakistan, when KFC invested in this region, this company did not get better result, when KFC gave advertising via social media, KFC burger raised significantly in some days. That's why advertising is a game changer. On the other side, other people believe that advertising have some bad impact on society. When children see advertising of mobiles, tablets and clothes etc, they pressurize their parents to buy this product. Moreover, parents cannot buy because of expensive prices. According to research 69%, in Pakistan, children buy different tablets, mobilephones by advertising to impress their friends. In this way, they ways money of their parents to buy useless gadgets.
In the new modern society, every business community wants to wide their business by advertising.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that advertising plays an essential role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
business, while other things that due to advertising,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by fake materials. I believe that advertising is a beneficial way to promote business.

On the one side, advertising is a huge opportunity to promote products worldwide via newspaper, social media and television etc.
In this case
demands of products will
be raised
dramatically
. In Pakistan, when KFC invested in this region, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better result, when KFC gave advertising via social media, KFC burger raised
significantly
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
days. That's why advertising is a game changer.

On the other side, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that advertising have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on society. When children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
advertising of mobiles, tablets and clothes etc, they pressurize their parents to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
this product.
Moreover
, parents cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of expensive prices. According to research 69%, in Pakistan, children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tablets,
Possible spelling mistake found.
mobilephones
by advertising to impress their friends. In this way,
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they ways
money of their parents to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
useless gadgets.

IELTS essay some people feel that the effect of advertising are positive for individual and business while other thing they are negative discuss both sides and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
186 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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