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some people consider money is the most important aspect of a job.do you agree or disagree?

some people consider money is the most important aspect of a job. mWnG1
some people consider money is the most important aspect of a job, I totally disagree with this opinoin for a viraiety of reasons that which I am going to explain them in next paragraphs. The primary reason why I dis agree the first factor for choosing a job is intrest, when we are looking for work, we have to think about our attitudes. So, when we find out our intrest we can select that work and keep on. To illustrate, my cousin started working. At first she did not think and just started a job. But, after a month she understood that the job was not appropiate for her. When I asked abot her carrier I figure out, she chose a wrong one. So, she could not succed and progress and left it. Another main reason why I support the nation that when some one starts a job and just think about money that she can earn, she will not perform as well as possible and maybe she can not concentrate on her duty. For instance, For some doctors money has preference. so, they do not pay attention on curing their pataients and it can be painful. when doctors do not service as well, the risk of passing away between patients inhance. But they have to remmeber that patients trust them. Although we have such doctors, we can mention that we have to many doctors that they came to this field just due to the fact that thay can help peaple. Even we gave some doctors that they help poor people without catching money and they love them as their families and reaspet them. In conclusion, we can mention that, In one hand, people shoud choose jobs that they are enthusiastic about doing them. on the other hand, They have to notice to their behaviors and they have to understand that money do not have an impression on their efficiency.
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some
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people
consider
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money
is the most
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important
aspect of a
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job
, I
totally
disagree with this
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opinoin
for a
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viraiety
of reasons that which I am going to
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explain
them in
next
paragraphs.

The primary reason why I
Did you mean "this"?
dis
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agree
the
first
factor for choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
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intrest
, when we are looking for work, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
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think
about our attitudes.
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So
, when we find out our
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intrest
we can select that work and
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keep
on. To illustrate, my cousin
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working. At
The comma is probably missing here: "first, she".
first she
did not
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think
and
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just
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started
a
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job
.
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But
, after a month she understood that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
was not
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appropiate
for her. When I asked
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abot
her carrier I figure out, she chose a
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wrong
one.
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So
, she could not
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succed
and progress and
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left
it.

Another main reason why I support the nation that when
Did you mean "someone"?
some one
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starts
a
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job
and
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just
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think
about
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money
that she can earn, she will not perform
as well
as possible and maybe she can not concentrate on her duty.
For instance
, For
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some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "doctors'" or "doctor's"?
doctors
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money
has preference.
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so
, they do not pay attention on curing their
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pataients
and it can be painful.
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when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
do not service
as well
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of passing away between patients
Possible spelling mistake found.
inhance
.
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But
they
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have to
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remmeber
that patients trust them.

Although we have such
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doctors
, we can mention that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
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many
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doctors
that they came to this field
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just
due to the fact that
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thay
can
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help
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peaple
. Even we gave
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some
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doctors
that they
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help
poor
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people
without catching
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they
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love
them as their families and
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reaspet
them.

In conclusion
, we can mention that, In one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoud
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that they are enthusiastic about doing them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
notice to their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
behaviors and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
understand that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
do not have an impression on their efficiency.
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IELTS essay some people consider money is the most important aspect of a job.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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