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Some people claim that the government should provide free health care. Others think that the government will not provide the most innovative methods of treatment and it's better to invest those funds in education and culture. What is your opinion?

Some people claim that the government should provide free health care. Others think that the government will not provide the most innovative methods of treatment and it's better to invest those funds in education and culture. What is your opinion? ljdPQ
Many believe, that the government should be providing healthcare free of cost. While others oppose that saying it might not be the most advanced method and that finance is better used in education and culture. In my opinion, the government should provide free healthcare. Nowadays private hospitals charge a handsome fee even for regular checkups. Middle to low class citizens may not be able to afford such hospital trips. If the government provides healthcare it will either be for free or at minimal cost allowing everyone to be able to access it. One of the reasons why private hospitals are pricier is because of the up-to-date equipment and technology that they utilize. This pushes costs higher. When the government doesn't have to bear such costs it will be able to maintain its lower prices reducing the burden on government funds and the population. Moreover, providing free health care will prevent the spreading of sicknesses and diseases. People will have access to vaccines and medicines and will not be contagious to everyone around them. For example in this current situation of covid if everyone gets vaccinated then the world can move on as normal without the need for quarantines and lockdowns. To sum up the government should provide free healthcare because not only does it affect the patient but also the people around them and for the health of the whole country this is a measure that the government can take and is justified.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe, that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be providing healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
. While others oppose that saying it might not be the most advanced method and that finance is better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in education and culture. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
healthcare.

Nowadays private hospitals charge a handsome fee even for regular checkups. Middle to low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
citizens may not be able to afford such hospital trips. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provides healthcare it will either be for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
or at minimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
allowing everyone to be able to access it.

One of the reasons why private hospitals are pricier is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the up-to-date equipment and technology that they utilize. This pushes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
higher. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
doesn't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bear such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
it will be able to maintain its lower prices reducing the burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funds and the population.

Moreover
, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
health care will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the spreading of sicknesses and diseases.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
will have access to vaccines and medicines and will not be contagious to everyone around them.
For example
in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
if everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
vaccinated then the world can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on as normal without the need for quarantines and lockdowns.

To sum up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
healthcare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it affect the patient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around them and for the health of the whole country this is a measure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can take and
is justified
.
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IELTS essay Some people claim that the government should provide free health care. Others think that the government will not provide the most innovative methods of treatment and it's better to invest those funds in education and culture. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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