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Some people claim that family members are more important than friends. Do you agree or disagree?

Family members are beings who are related to you by blood and friends are people you meet in life and get along really well with. Some opine that your family comes before anyone else, even if they are your acquaintances and some totally conflict with the statement. I firmly believe with the prior stance that your blood relations hold a very important stature in your life even more that your friends. Firstly, it is very difficult to find a loyal friend who will put you before their own needs as this world is full of so-called friends. To illustrate, there is a life-lesson in this statement that: “ A Friend in need is a friend indeed”. This quotation by some wise thinker depicts that you won’t find a lot of people in your difficult times unlike your family. Furthermore, there may come any devastating event in your life; it is your family who is there for you and they may know it before anyone else does. For instance, if you lose something special in your life your parents, spouse and siblings are there for you to comfort you by being there, either by virtually or physically. Therefore, it may heal you faster and help you to get on with your life. So, that’s why your family plays a very pivotal role in your being. Moreover, the bond you share with your family is unbreakable and your relationships stays with you for life. For example, from the day you are born to the day you leave this world; they know you from in and out. So they are your comfort zone and save haven which you will always have. Family stays with you through thick and thin and be there to motivate you, mainly push you on getting back to normal on any life changing happenings. Thus your family comes before any other relation in your life: be it friends.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
members are beings who
are related
to you by blood and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along
really
well with.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
opine that your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
anyone else, even if they are your acquaintances and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
totally
conflict with the statement. I
firmly
believe with the prior stance that your blood relations hold a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
stature in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
even more that your friends.

Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to find a loyal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
who will put you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
needs as this world is full of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. To illustrate, there is a life-lesson in this statement that:
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Friend
in need is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
indeed
”. This quotation by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
wise thinker depicts that you won’t find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in your difficult times unlike your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Furthermore
, there may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
any devastating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
; it is your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
who is there for you and they may know it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
anyone else does.
For instance
, if you lose something special in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
your parents, spouse and siblings are there for you to comfort you by being there, either by
virtually
or
physically
.
Therefore
, it may heal you faster and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, that’s why your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
pivotal role in your being.
Moreover
, the bond you share with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is unbreakable and your relationships stays with you for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, from the day you
are born
to the day you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
this world; they know you from in and out.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they are your comfort zone and save haven which you will always have.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
stays with you through thick and thin and be there to motivate you,
mainly
push you on getting back to normal on any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
changing happenings.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
any other relation in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
: be it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
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IELTS essay Some people claim that family members are more important than friends.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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