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Some people claim girls should stay at home to take care of everyone and avoid walking outside. Do you agree?

Some people claim girls should stay at home to take care of everyone and avoid walking outside. Do you agree? 2bryk
It is generally believed by some people that women ought to have a caring nature of their family, and only this should be their prime duty by avoiding work. However I completely disagree with this assertion, and we discuss that these stereotypes need to break. To begin with, society should not do gender-based discrimination which will differentiate the work. In other words, equal treatment would be given to a girl or a boy; this orthodox mentality needed to be changed in order to create a successful society. To give a clear example, New Zealand is run by women ministers whether it would be a President, Prime Minister or Finance Minister. As a result, breaking all barriers, these women are accepting all challenges and thriving. Hence, people should not divide categories on the basis of male and female. Another essential reason would be that the girls should be completely independent to make their own decision. This is because when someone is pressurized to choose the path which is not meant for them will always lead to pain and loneliness. Everyone deserves to stay happy and get a sense of satisfaction from the work they do with their free will. A survey revealed that around 60% of women are feeling accomplished by taking care of their family regardless of anyone's pressure. Therefore, it should be completely women's choice what they enjoy the most. To recapitulate, divisions in work are wrong to do on a gender basis because it leads to the development of a narrow minded society. Besides, girls should be encouraged to make their own decisions and forcing them to stay at home is not justified.
It is
generally
believed by
some
people
that
women
ought to have a caring nature of their family, and
only
this should be their prime duty by avoiding
work
.
However
I completely disagree with this assertion, and we discuss that these stereotypes need to break.

To
begin
with, society should not do gender-based discrimination which will differentiate the
work
.
In other words
, equal treatment would be
given
to a girl or a boy; this orthodox mentality needed to be
changed
in order to create a successful society. To give a
clear
example, New Zealand
is run
by
women
ministers whether it would be a President, Prime Minister or Finance Minister.
As a result
, breaking all barriers, these
women
are accepting all challenges and thriving.
Hence
,
people
should not divide categories on the basis of male and female.

Another essential reason would be that the girls should be completely independent to
make
their
own
decision. This is
because
when someone
is pressurized
to choose the path which is not meant for them will always lead to pain and loneliness. Everyone deserves to stay happy and
get
a sense of satisfaction from the
work
they do with their free will. A survey revealed that around 60% of
women
are feeling accomplished by taking care of their family regardless of anyone's pressure.
Therefore
, it should be completely women's choice what they enjoy the most.

To recapitulate, divisions in
work
are
wrong
to do on a gender basis
because
it leads to the development of a
narrow minded
society.
Besides
, girls should
be encouraged
to
make
their
own
decisions and forcing them to stay at home is not justified.
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IELTS essay Some people claim girls should stay at home to take care of everyone and avoid walking outside. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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