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Some people believe young children should be free to choose his or her job, but others think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe young children should be free to choose his or her job, but others think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Y62m
The foremost point to depict is that if people are satisfied with their occupation and work with enthusiasm, they might probably get more success. In other words, despite being permanent of a job, an individual don’t get pleasure while working, they would obviously obtain difficulty to get high success. To cite an example, if a person works as teacher at a school or university and know his or her job security is in a good position, however doesn’t work passionately, high success would propbably be quite far from him.
The foremost point to depict is that if
people
are satisfied
with their occupation and work with enthusiasm, they might
probably
get
more success.
In other words
, despite being permanent of a job, an individual don’t
get
pleasure while working, they would
obviously
obtain difficulty to
get
high success. To cite an example, if a person works as teacher at a school or university and know
his or her
job security is in a
good
position,
however
doesn’t work
passionately
, high success would
propbably
be quite far from him.
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IELTS essay Some people believe young children should be free to choose his or her job, but others think they should be realistic and think more about their future.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
89 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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