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Some people believe the mass media have too much influence over people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe the mass media have too much influence over people. gDQKl
These days, a plethora of organizations provide and necessitate their workers to wear uniforms. This essay will elaborate on the benefits and the drawbacks of this phenomenon. On the one hand, there are numerous advantages to wearing a uniform in the workplace for both organizations and workers. The most significant advantage is that they are all promoted equally. As a consequence, no one feels superior or inferior to anyone which eventually leads to comfort at work. For example, one of my friends works for an international company where everyone wears uniforms that are courteous and refined. That is why he feels people are more friendly when working in companies that wear the same clothes. Furthermore, one of the essential advantages of wearing the same attire in the workplace is to boost teamwork. In fact, by wearing a uniform, people will have more self-confidence. This results in a vibe of work and also the success of a team. On the other hand, wearing uniforms brings drawbacks for the users. The lack of a comfortable feeling is one of the significant cons. This is in light of the fact that they feel that they do not have any choices or freedom in wearing clothes. It leads to trying to avoid being in a uniform resulting in them losing their motivation to perform their tasks which can also have an impact on their work performance. In addition, there is no diversity and it is unfashionable, especially for female workers. For instance, in my school, girls frequently choose colorful uniforms in the afternoons instead of continuing to wear formal clothes. They think they look more interesting and beautiful when wearing such clothes. I believe the same goes for employees whenever they go to work. (I added this one to relate your example to the topic. ) In conclusion, wearing the same clothes when working brings both benefits and drawbacks. Giving everyone a feeling of being equal and a sense of belonging is the main advantage whereas the major disadvantage is that it may give the wearer discomfort and seems to be less interesting.
These days, a plethora of organizations provide and necessitate their workers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
. This essay will elaborate on the benefits and the drawbacks of this phenomenon.

On the one hand, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
to wearing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
in the workplace for both organizations and workers. The most significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
is that they are all promoted
equally
. As a consequence, no one feels superior or inferior to anyone which
eventually
leads to comfort at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For example
, one of my friends works for an international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
where everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wears
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
that are courteous and refined.
That is
why he feels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more friendly when working in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
.
Furthermore
, one of the essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of wearing the same attire in the workplace is to boost teamwork. In fact, by wearing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have more self-confidence. This results in a vibe of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
also
the success of a team.

On the other hand
, wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
brings drawbacks for the users. The lack of a comfortable feeling is one of the significant cons. This is in light of the fact that they feel that they do not have any choices or freedom in wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. It leads to trying to avoid being in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
resulting in them losing their motivation to perform their tasks which can
also
have an impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
performance.
In addition
, there is no diversity and it is unfashionable,
especially
for female workers.
For instance
, in my school, girls
frequently
choose colorful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
in the afternoons
instead
of continuing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they look more interesting and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
when wearing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. I believe the same goes for employees whenever they go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. (I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
this one to relate your example to the topic.
Loose punctuation mark.
)


In conclusion
, wearing the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
when working brings both benefits and drawbacks. Giving everyone a feeling of being equal and a sense of belonging is the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
whereas the major disadvantage is that it may give the wearer discomfort and seems to be less interesting.
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IELTS essay Some people believe the mass media have too much influence over people.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
349 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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