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some people believe that women should play an equal role as man in a country's police force or military force ,such as the army , while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs .discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, women are competing shoulder to shoulder with men and contributing to the nation by get good jobs in country's police and army forces. Some people think that women play an equal role in society as man, whereas other opine that it is not suitable for women to compete with men. I side with former view. This essay intend to discuss both the perspectives in the following paraghraphs. To begin with, those who think that women should not go for police and army forces give their reasons. Firstly, these kind of jobs are not for the females as it involve a great physical power, which might me arduous task for women. Secondly, women should involve in work related to home. Finally, police works require 24 hour 7 weeks duty which might impossible for women as they even have to after their family. However, Women are coming forward and doing jobs earlier which was known as men jobs. On the other hand those who are in the favour of intense work duty for women cite their reasons. First and foremost, every citizen have right to do a job according to his or her wish which simultaneously removes such restictions form women. Another is that, women are doing better than men in every field either its police or army work. For instance, more females are passing the government exams than males. In my opinion it is nothing bad to go for such jobs for women as it is their right to serve the nation. Moreover, their should be no specification of jobs according to gender (as it leads to the gender discrimination). To reiterate, gender discrimination should not become an obstacle for any to successed in life
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are competing shoulder to shoulder with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and contributing to the nation by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
and army forces.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
play an equal role in society as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, whereas other opine that it is not suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to compete with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. I side with former view.
The verb ‘intend’ is plural. Did you mean: “This essay intends”? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This essay intend
to discuss both the perspectives in the following
Possible spelling mistake found.
paraghraphs
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should not go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
and army forces give their reasons.
Firstly
,
‘These’ does not seem to match the singular noun ‘kind’. Did you mean “this kind” or “these kinds”?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are not for the females as it involve a great physical power, which might me arduous task for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should involve in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
related to home.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
works require 24 hour 7 weeks duty which might impossible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
as they even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
after their family.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
are coming forward and doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
earlier which
was known
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
On the other hand
those who are in the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favour’ is British English.
favour
of intense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
duty for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
cite their reasons.
First
and foremost, every citizen have right to do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
wish which
simultaneously
removes such
Possible spelling mistake found.
restictions
form
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. Another is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are doing better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in every field either its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
or army
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For instance
, more females are passing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
exams than males.

In my opinion it is nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
to go for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
as it is their right to serve the nation.
Moreover
,
Did you mean “there”?
their
should be no specification of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
according to gender (as it leads to the gender discrimination).

To reiterate, gender discrimination should not become an obstacle for any to
Possible spelling mistake found.
successed
in life
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IELTS essay some people believe that women should play an equal role as man in a country's police force or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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