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some people believe that violence on tv and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Other deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Television and computer games are one of the biggest inventions of their time. Some say that violence on these digital devices are damaging our society. I completely agree with this statement and I will support my argument with examples. Firstly, T. V and computer games have copyrights to show such contents just for entertainment but mostly people takes its negative impact such as most of movies and drama seriels running these days have adverse type of household fightings which lead to the cause of domestics issues specially between husband and a wife. Quarelling between inlaws and much more. Every person just want to do like tv screens which in result create bad effect on society. On the other hand, violence in computer games mostly effects teenagers. One of the finest example is Pubg running these days. Every young guys just want to roam like these gangsters with arms and guns which in result threaten our society. They just want to live their lives like them which distrubs the environment of our society. However, there are other people who take the positive impacts of them like changing their life style, learn good language but they are fewer. So that, it has more negative impacts rather than favouring it. To conclude, I would say that it damage our society badly by having a domestic issues and effects on teenagers by making gangs and crossing limits.
Television and computer games are one of the biggest inventions of their time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say that violence on these digital devices are damaging our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and I will support my argument with examples.
Firstly
, T. V and computer games have copyrights to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
such contents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
takes
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact such as
After ‘most of’, you should use ‘the’ (“most of the movies”) or simply say “most movies”.
most of movies
and drama
Possible spelling mistake found.
seriels
running these days have adverse type of household
Possible spelling mistake found.
fightings
which lead to the cause of domestics issues
specially
between husband and a wife.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Quarelling
between
Possible spelling mistake found.
inlaws
and much more. Every person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to do like
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
screens which in result create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
On the other hand
, violence in computer games
mostly
effects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. One of the finest
Please check whether a plural form of ‘example’ should be used.
example
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pubg
running these days. Every young guys
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to roam like these gangsters with arms and guns which in result threaten our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
like them which
Possible spelling mistake found.
distrubs
the environment of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
However
, there are other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who take the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts of them like changing their
This noun is normally spelled as one word.
life style
, learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are fewer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, it has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts
rather
than
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favouring’ is British English.
favouring
it.
To conclude
, I would say that it damage our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
badly
by having a domestic issues and effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
by making gangs and crossing limits.
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IELTS essay some people believe that violence on tv and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Other deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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