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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion? 655l
In this modern world, televisions and computers play an important part in everyone's life. It is believed by several people that the violence shown on television and computer games has a negative impact on society. However, there are a few people that denies these facts. This essay discusses some of the negative effects that the television and the computer have on the citizens. Firstly, nowadays, there is a plethora of movies and series that are telecasted through televisions. The violent scenes that are shown in movies are influencing people, particularly, youngsters in adverse ways. In addition, they tend to make really bad decisions in life without thinking of the after-effects. For example, in India, there are multiple instances where the youngsters decided to damage the shops in the locality, and also there were situations when they have burned down the public transports in the name of protests. Secondly, teenagers, these days spend a large number of hours in computer games, specifically more violent visual games involving knives and guns. The more violent games they play it makes them equally adamant and stubborn in real life. As a result, they become angry and aggressive for all unnecessary things which finally leads them to get involved in fighting and bullying in the schools. For instance, the cases of teenagers assaulting their teachers or fellow mates are increasing at an alarming rate in this decade. In conclusion, even when few people say in contrary, I strongly believe that violence on television and computer games have an adverse influence on one's activities but can be reduced by proper awareness and supervision of what they show in movies and games.
In this modern world,
televisions
and computers play an
important
part in everyone's life. It
is believed
by several
people
that the violence shown on
television
and computer
games
has a
negative
impact on society.
However
, there are a few
people
that denies these facts. This essay discusses
some of the
negative
effects that the
television
and the computer have on the citizens.

Firstly
, nowadays, there is a plethora of movies and series that are
telecasted
through
televisions
. The violent scenes that
are shown
in movies are influencing
people
,
particularly
, youngsters in adverse ways.
In addition
, they tend to
make
really
bad
decisions in life without thinking of the after-effects.
For example
, in India, there are multiple instances where the youngsters decided to damage the shops in the locality, and
also
there were situations when they have burned down the public transports in the name of protests.

Secondly
,
teenagers
, these days spend
a large number of
hours in computer
games
,
specifically
more violent visual
games
involving knives and guns. The more violent
games
they play it
makes
them
equally
adamant and stubborn in real life.
As a result
, they become angry and aggressive for all unnecessary things which
finally
leads them to
get
involved in fighting and bullying in the schools.
For instance
, the cases of
teenagers
assaulting their teachers or fellow mates are increasing at an alarming rate in this decade.

In conclusion
, even when few
people
say in contrary, I
strongly
believe that violence on
television
and computer
games
have an adverse influence on one's activities
but
can be
reduced
by proper awareness and supervision of what they
show
in movies and
games
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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