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Some people believe that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. V1q3
It has been a debatable topic that whether people should invest more money and resources in animal conservation today. Some suggest that the expenditure and resources should be spent on human society and to solve social problems. Although I partially subscribe to the idea that investment in wildlife protection will always be worthwhile I also opine that our national budget should be allocated to more urgent issues. To begin with, if human fail to protect wild aniamls, economic damages to many fields are inevitability. It is true that biodiversity has brought considerable economic values. If there was a disapperance of a wild animal, this would lead to dead threats to others species because of the interdependency. Therefore, the national economy would probably suffer heavy losses in which the exploitation of wild animals benefit considerably. To exemplify, some fishes that are prey to whales would disappear, resulting in the risk of decline in the number of whales. As a result, the fishing industry contributing to national budget would have an adverse impact. However, public money is limited. So we should allocate our national budget to more urgent issues rather than expending too much in the conservation of wild animals and birds. A case in point is that, more resources should be diverted to medical research to find out remedies for fatal diseases such as HIV and cancer, which may help to save thousands of lives in society. To recapitulate my ideas briefly, notwithstanding the fact that I am partial in favor of this opinion as protection of wildlife of our globe can play crucial role in our life. I also conjecture that our natonal fund ought to be designated to more vital issues
It has been a debatable topic that whether
people
should invest more money and resources in
animal
conservation
today
.
Some
suggest that the expenditure and resources should
be spent
on human society and to solve social problems.
Although
I
partially
subscribe to the
idea
that investment in wildlife protection will always be worthwhile I
also
opine that our
national
budget should
be allocated
to more urgent issues.

To
begin
with, if human fail to protect wild
aniamls
, economic damages to
many
fields are inevitability. It is true that biodiversity has brought considerable economic values. If there was a
disapperance
of a wild
animal
, this would lead to dead threats to others species
because
of the interdependency.
Therefore
, the
national
economy would
probably
suffer heavy losses in which the exploitation of wild
animals
benefit
considerably
. To exemplify,
some
fishes that are prey to whales would disappear, resulting in the
risk
of decline in the number of whales.
As a result
, the fishing industry contributing to
national
budget would have an adverse impact.

However
, public money
is limited
.
So
we should allocate our
national
budget to more urgent issues
rather
than expending too much in the conservation of wild
animals
and birds. A case in point is that, more resources should
be diverted
to medical research to find out remedies for fatal diseases such as HIV and cancer, which may
help
to save thousands of
lives
in society.

To recapitulate my
ideas
briefly
, notwithstanding the fact that I am partial in favor of this opinion as protection of wildlife of our globe can play crucial role in our life. I
also
conjecture that our
natonal
fund ought to
be designated
to more vital
issues
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IELTS essay Some people believe that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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