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Some people believe that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. KQrk
At present days wild animals and birds living rate is reduced significantly consequently security and ample resources are increased to wild animals and birds. Other people thinks this kind of heavy protection not needed. In my opinion at present pace world this kind of protection is much more needed. To begin with, security to the wild animals and birds are vital at present days due to in this world from the past 4 decades a plethora number of birds and wild animals are dead and some of the animals are extent such as diansours and piccokes. The reason is, in the past almost 80 percent of the earth is a forest area on the contrary right now significant amount of forest is reduced and animals don't have place to live that's why they are dead or extent. Further more, humans hunting also a important problems reduction of wild animals. For instance, survey by the forest department at present animals are facing serious water problem and lack of nutrtion food also they are dying in the forest and one animals and other animals with each other so entire wild animals ecosystem is demaged. Thus, much and more protection is needed for wild animals and birds without security they can't live at present world. On the other side, some people says that heavy concentrate also leads to a problem because wild animals and birds are free animals but keeping them in a zoo's and others areas creats ample of pressure on animals on the contrary it is need i think. This is because, wild animals are living in dangerous world at past it was completely different but at present world we have to keep in a zoo's completely. For example, according to survey by zoo's department they have saved one lakh species from past one decade and these specoes are going to exten because of zoo's animals life saved. Aa a result, protection if the animals is needed with out protection they can't live in this world. In conclusion, i think wild animals and brids security are needed and by this kind of protection solely they can continue in this world.
At
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
days wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
living rate is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
significantly
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
and ample resources
are increased
to wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
thinks
this kind of heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needed
. In my opinion at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
pace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
is much more needed.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
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security
to the wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
are vital at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
days due to in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
4 decades a plethora number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
and wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are dead and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are extent such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
diansours
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
piccokes
. The reason is, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
almost 80 percent of the earth is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
area
on the contrary
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
significant amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
don't have place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
that's why they are dead or extent.
Further
more, humans hunting
also
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "problems'" or "problem's"?
problems
reduction of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
For instance
, survey by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
department at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are facing serious water problem and lack of
Possible spelling mistake found.
nutrtion
food
also
they are dying in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forest
and one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
entire wild
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "animals'" or "animal's"?
animals
ecosystem is
Possible spelling mistake found.
demaged
.
Thus
, much and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needed
for wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
without
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security
they can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
world.

On the
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other
side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
says
that heavy concentrate
also
leads to a problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birds
are free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
keeping them in a zoo's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
areas
Possible spelling mistake found.
creats
ample of pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
on the contrary
it
is need
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
it was completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in a zoo's completely.
For example
, according to survey by zoo's department they have saved one lakh species from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
one decade and these
Possible spelling mistake found.
specoes
are going to
Possible spelling mistake found.
exten
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of zoo's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
life saved.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aa
a result,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needed
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
they can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this world.

In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
brids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needed
and by this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
solely
they can continue in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.

IELTS essay Some people believe that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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