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New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. with this opinion? 2Geb
The life of humans are becoming different by technological advancement and shopping online. I completely agree with this fact that technologies and shopping online has greatly influenced people`s life. To begin, the life of people is going to become easier with technological advancement. What it means, today in most companies have been fulfilled with various technologies. This is because, the majority of people control the production facilities at the push of a button around the world. For example, in many manufacturing of car companies there are a lot of facilities that human being do not have to carry heavy items or spend too much time on producing cars. Furthermore, looking at the way of curing, there are a number of diseases that can be cured by technologies. However, approximately 100 years ago the majority of individuals worked hard to product cars or people might have been cured hardly without technology. As a result, the roles of technologies have influenced the lives of human beings to become more productive. On the other hand, online shopping has also become as famous as traditional markets. It is believed by some that online buying and selling could be time saving. In other words, many people can buy everything by only some phone applications and it helps workers to save crucial time due to the fact that the way of selling products might be easier for merchants. In addition, last year in 2020 most countries were locked down due to Corona Virus and shopping online was safer way of buying. For instance, Amazon is a huge company which sells products online around the world. Therefore, it is expected that e-commerce may outweigh offline markets in the near future. To conclusion, although some individuals believe that traditional shopping is still well-known around the world, it is true that new technologies and shopping online have a great influence on human life.
The life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
Did you mean "is"?
are
becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
by technological advancement and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has
greatly
influenced
The character between 'people' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "people’s" (curly apostrophe) or "people's" (straight apostrophe).
people`s
life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is going to become easier with technological advancement. What it means,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
in most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have
been fulfilled
with various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
control the production facilities at the push of a button around the world.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
manufacturing of car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
facilities that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry heavy items or spend too much time on producing cars.
Furthermore
, looking at the way of curing, there are a number of diseases that can
be cured
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
However
, approximately 100 years ago the majority of individuals worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to product cars or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might have
been cured
hardly without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
As a result
, the roles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
have influenced the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings to become more productive.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
also
become as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
as traditional markets. It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
buying and selling could be time saving.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
everything by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
phone applications and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
workers to save crucial time due to the fact that the way of selling products might be easier for merchants.
In addition
, last year in 2020 most countries
were locked
down due to
The term "Coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
Corona Virus
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
was
Please check whether an article is missing: "a safer".
safer
way of buying.
For instance
, Amazon is a huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which sells products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
around the world.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that e-commerce may outweigh offline markets in the near future.

To conclusion, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
still
well-known around the world, it is true that new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
have a great influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life.
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IELTS essay New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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