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Some people believe that the television program are note real value for children

Some people believe that the television program are note real value for children 0ny0q
Many individuals are of the belief that TV programmes have no actual value. Since most of the programs have adult contains. On the flip side there are very good educational programs as well. Hence I intend to partially agree with the captioned opinion. To begin with the adult contains, including fouls language and violence action will leads our young generation to more violence in their personal life. It will create more social problems. They try to imitate the thing that saw in the TV and using fouls language. The studies show most of the aggressive behaviour of the children because of imitate the TV programs. For example, when children watching tour of duty in the TV, they used to act like army soldiers and they like to fire with toy guns and talk like army soldiers. However there are many educational programs which help to increase knowledge of young generation. Sometimes there are TV channels telecast educational programs whole day that children can learn school subjects from home. Furthermore watching documentaries, quiz shows and talk shows will improve their general knowledge as well as imagination. To illustrate this, there are very good documentaries in BBC as well as discovery channels which we can’t even see in the life time. That kind of programs motivate young generation to think differently and it will create their life better in future. In conclusion, We can see that the reason for aggressive behaviour of children is violence action they saw in the TV and imitate the characters where as there are plenty of very good educational programs that lead our young peoples for better life, Therefore this writer partially agree with the notion that the TV programs has no real value for children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals are of the belief that TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
have no actual value.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
have adult contains. On the flip side there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
as well
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
I intend to
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the captioned opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the adult contains, including fouls language and violence action will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
leads
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation to more violence in their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It will create more social problems. They try to imitate the thing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the TV".
in the TV
and using fouls language. The studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
most of the aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of imitate the TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
watching tour of duty
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the TV".
in the TV
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to act like army
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
soldiers and
they like to fire with toy guns and talk like army soldiers.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
there are TV channels telecast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
whole day that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn school subjects from home.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
watching documentaries, quiz
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and talk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their general knowledge
as well
as imagination. To illustrate this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
documentaries in BBC
as well
as discovery channels which we can’t even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the
Did you mean "lifetime"?
life time
. That kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
differently
and it will create their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
better
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

In conclusion
, We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the reason for aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is violence action they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the TV".
in the TV
and imitate the characters
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that lead our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
peoples for better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
Therefore
this writer
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that the TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
has no real value for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that the television program are note real value for children

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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