Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

moder music can have a negative impact

moder music can have a negative impact 7JymA
Modern music greatly impacts the lives of teenagers and young adults. Some consider it to have a bad influence whilst other think that it has a positive impact. As both viewpoints have merits, I tend to believe that modern music has a negative effect on the young. On the one hand, music can be a source of motivation and a stress relief for young people which is a great advantage. Many artists have inspiring lyrics in their songs that can be a form of motivation. In addition, listening to modern music can have a relaxing effect and decrease anxiety for youths. Moreover, it can be an outlet to forget about one´s problems temporarily. For example, there is a lot of modern music that aims to calm people down which can be good. By contrast, modern music contains a lot of violence and crime that has a negative impact on the young. This kind of music glorifies both mental and physical violence and is leading to an increase of crimes in society. Many musicians sing or rap about illegal things they have done. Furthermore, this negatively effects young people since it encourages them to act the same way. For instance, several music videos contain footage of guns and drugs which normalizes this in society. In my opinion, modern music has a bad influence on teenagers and young adults since it inspires them to commit crimes and act violently. In conclusion, modern music significantly influences young people. It has some positive effects such as stress relief and motivation. However, it contributes to more violence and crimes in society which has a greater negative influence.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
greatly
impacts the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
consider it to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
whilst other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact. As both viewpoints have merits, I tend to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on the young.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can be a source of motivation and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
relief for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which is a great advantage.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
artists have inspiring lyrics in their songs that can be a form of motivation.
In addition
, listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can have a relaxing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
and decrease anxiety for youths.
Moreover
, it can be an outlet to forget about
The character between 'one' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "one’s" (curly apostrophe) or "one's" (straight apostrophe).
one´s
problems
temporarily
.
For example
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that aims to calm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
down which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

By contrast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
violence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
that has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
. This kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
glorifies both mental and physical violence and is leading to an increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
musicians sing or rap about illegal things they have done.
Furthermore
, this
negatively
effects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since it encourages them to act the same way.
For instance
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
videos contain footage of guns and drugs which normalizes this in society.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults since it inspires them to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and act
violently
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
significantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
relief and motivation.
However
, it contributes to more violence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in society which has a greater
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay moder music can have a negative impact

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts