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Some people believe that the media, such as the press, TV and Internet should be more strictly controlled. Others feel that controls should be loosened to give people freer access to information. Discuss both views.

Some people believe that the media, such as the press, TV and Internet should be more strictly controlled. Others feel that controls should be loosened to give people freer access to information. Wy8Xk
A part of the population believes that current media (press, television and internet) should be controlled very strictly while others disagree by stating that there should be more freedom in getting information. First of all, is easy to understand the part of the population that wants more control. The media is controlled by large corporations that only want what is best for them, thus making the content potentially dangerous because of disinformation. Even though The Internet is not private it can be a place where you can find from a video on how to play the guitar to content explaining how to build a bomb. For example, a terrorist attack can plan everything from information obtained from this source. However, history has documented cases of countries that use media control to influence the people. Any type of control over the information is dangerous, even promoting dictators and making people disappear without any consequence. In China the media access is very controlled, which have caused the people not to be aware of anything that happens around them, during the pandemic, for example, it was forbidden to write anything about it and this caused many people to die. In conclusion, even though too much media and internet liberties can have dangerous effects it can also misinform and rob people of freedom, while the examples we have of countries in which everything was controlled did not bring good results for their people.
A part of the population believes that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
(press, television and internet) should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
controlled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strictly
while others disagree by stating that there should be more freedom in getting information.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, is easy to understand the part of the population that wants more control. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You should probably use: "are".
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
controlled
by large corporations that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
want what is best for them,
thus
making the content
potentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of disinformation.
“Even though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even though
The Internet is not private it can be a place where you can find from a video on how to play the guitar to content explaining how to build a bomb.
For example
, a terrorist attack can plan everything from information obtained from this source.

However
, history has documented cases of countries that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
control to influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Any type of control over the information is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
, even promoting dictators and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disappear without any consequence. In China the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
access is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
controlled
, which have caused the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not to be aware of anything that happens around them, during the pandemic,
for example
, it
was forbidden
to write anything about it and this caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
.

In conclusion
,
even though
too
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and internet liberties can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
effects it can
also
misinform and rob
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of freedom, while the examples we have of countries in which everything was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
controlled
did not bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that the media, such as the press, TV and Internet should be more strictly controlled. Others feel that controls should be loosened to give people freer access to information.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • Some people believe that the media, such as the press, TV and Internet should be more strictly controlled. Others feel that controls should be loosened to give people freer access to information. Discuss both views.