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Online shopping has replaced offline or shopping from stores. Is this a positive development or a negative development.

Online shopping has replaced offline or shopping from stores. Is this a positive development or a negative development. 15orW
Nowadays, people have diverse places where they can shop. The debate on whether or not online shopping has a positive impact has led to polarized views. Although, some individuals think that virtual shopping is a good idea, others are of a contrary opinion. In my view, I vehemently agree with the opinion that online shopping is an impactful development because it makes shopping stress-free and it saves hour. Firstly, buying things through the internet enables us to shop without stress. This is due to the fact that our goods can be delivered straight to our doorsteps, therefore, we no longer need to enter the market to get items anymore. For instance, research had it that 75% of women worldwide now shop from home, thereby reducing their rate of mortality caused by stress. From the aforementioned example, it is apparent that online shopping reduces workload. Secondly, there is adequate term management as a result of online marketing because people no longer have to spend the best part of their day queueing in crowded shopping centres and the duration of a moment that could have been spent in the market can be used to achieve many other things. To buttress this, last weekend, I did online shopping while I was at the school library preparing for an examination. Therefore, virtual marketing helps us to manage our stage wisely. To sum up, internet shopping is now preferred to going to shops to buy things and I believe it is beneficial to us as it conserves our energy and helps in time management.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have diverse places where they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
. The debate on
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact has led to polarized views. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, others are of a contrary opinion. In my view, I
vehemently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is an impactful development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free and it saves hour.

Firstly
, buying things through the internet enables us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
This is due to the fact that
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
can
be delivered
straight to our doorsteps,
therefore
, we no longer need to enter the market to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
items anymore.
For instance
, research had it that 75% of women worldwide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
from home, thereby reducing their rate of mortality caused by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. From the aforementioned example, it is apparent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
workload.

Secondly
, there is adequate term management
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
marketing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
no longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend the best part of their day
Possible spelling mistake found.
queueing
in crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and the duration of a moment that could have
been spent
in the market can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to achieve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other things. To buttress this, last weekend, I did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
while I was at the school library preparing for an examination.
Therefore
, virtual marketing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to manage our stage
wisely
.

To sum up, internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
preferred to going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things and I believe it is beneficial to us as it conserves our energy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in time management.
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IELTS essay Online shopping has replaced offline or shopping from stores. Is this a positive development or a negative development.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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