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Some people believe that teenagers should have a full freedom to choose their occupations, whereas others contend that youngsters should think in a more practical way by considering the career prospect of the job. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that teenagers should have a full freedom to choose their occupations, whereas others contend that youngsters should think in a more practical way by considering the career prospect of the job. Discuss both views and give your opinion n1Wlo
It is argued youngsters need to select the job which they assume on, by having complete freedom. Conversely, this argument denys by many people who claim that graduates should choose the job which is bring more benefits to them. Despite, in my opinion work will not be a work if peson does not enjoy or inspire of it, mostly on this occasion it becomes as game. It is true, that teenagers should choose their dream employment freedomly as that job could be couse to making it for favourite activity. In contrast, people will devote all their skills to one point on the occupation which would be choosen by them. Albeit, for well performing and having a pssion towards their work is more significant nowadays. Peers will not fascinated of their job if their ocupation does not appeal them for example. They will not interested to their job hence, they lose responsibility and seek to their work. In this case, they will not useful in our society, since that teenagers will not bring as more benefits as they will gain salary from their jobs. In spite of this, plethora of people struggle that graduates need to consider practically and choose relative career jobs. On which yonghts may charged more than enough. To exemplify, adolescent desires to learn chemist оn which he or she can choose two prfession such ac chemistry teacher or scientist chemist. Usually young people choose chemistry teacher inasmuch as it bring them good career and decent salary. They will not choose the scientis chemist since this occupation great difficult to performing ànd lower promotion rather than chemistry teacher. The example proves for what reason many youths need to evaluate their job practically. To conclude the job which we have must to impressive us on it. Either ooccupation that teens would like to choose, they should manage with it as a higher flyer. Subsequently they may retreat that they could not work on that they want. As everybody lives only at once I think every teenager need to choose the occupation they prefer regardless to its salary or career.
It
is argued
youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to select the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which they assume on, by having complete freedom.
Conversely
, this argument
Possible spelling mistake found.
denys
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who claim that graduates should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which is
Consider using a past participle here: "brought".
bring
more benefits to them. Despite, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will not be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
if
Possible spelling mistake found.
peson
does not enjoy or inspire of it,
mostly
on this occasion it becomes as game. It is true, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their dream employment
Possible spelling mistake found.
freedomly
as that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
could be
Possible spelling mistake found.
couse
to making it for
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
activity.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will devote all their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to one point on the occupation which would be
Possible spelling mistake found.
choosen
by them. Albeit, for well performing and having a
Possible spelling mistake found.
pssion
towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is more significant nowadays. Peers will not
The verb 'will' requires base form of the verb: "fascinate"
fascinated
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
if their
Possible spelling mistake found.
ocupation
does not appeal them
for example
. They will not
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "interest"
interested
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
hence
, they lose responsibility and seek to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
In this case
, they
The word 'useful' is a noun or an adjective. A verb is missing or misspelled, or maybe a comma is missing.
will not useful
in our society, since that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
will not bring as more benefits as they will gain salary from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
struggle that graduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to consider
practically
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
relative career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. On which
Possible spelling mistake found.
yonghts
may charged more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. To exemplify, adolescent desires to learn chemist
A character in 'оn' is not an English character, although it can look like an English character. The character can cause a spelling error and disambiguation errors. Type the word again.
оn
which he or she can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
two
Possible spelling mistake found.
prfession
such ac chemistry teacher or scientist chemist.
Usually
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
chemistry teacher inasmuch as it bring them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
career and decent salary. They will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
scientis
chemist since this occupation great difficult to performing
Possible spelling mistake found.
ànd
lower promotion
rather
than chemistry teacher. The example proves for what reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youths
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to evaluate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
practically
.
To conclude
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
to impressive us on it. Either
Possible spelling mistake found.
ooccupation
that teens would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
, they should manage with it as a higher flyer.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Subsequently
they may retreat that they could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on that they want. As everybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at once I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the occupation they prefer regardless to its salary or career.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should have a full freedom to choose their occupations, whereas others contend that youngsters should think in a more practical way by considering the career prospect of the job. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
350 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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