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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid job in their free times. To what extent do you agree or diagree?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid job in their free times. 9Y5Lx
There are arguments that youngsters should be obliged to work free for developing their community after school hours. In my opinion, I completely agree that although this might has a number of adverse effects on the children, but it would be benefical. On the one hand, academical hours are mostly too long that children lose most of their energy and become tired. Therefore, forcing them to do unpaid activities after school might be too hard for them and thay cannot build a balance between work and education, and as a result it will affect their education. Besides, some of them may lose their concentration in the school by being so overwhelmed in the job. For instance, research showed that youth whom are forced to work after academical hours mostly have the worst grades among pupils, as they have no time to study at home. On the other hand, this theory can be suitable both for the people and the community. Firstly, children learn to be responsible about their community and as a result when they grow up they will be beneficial people for the country. Secondly, some of them can find their interest and make better decisions about their future career and field of study. And finally, they are young and full of energy and therefore the society can use this energy in order to improve the standards of life. To conclude, I believe that despite the fact that these phenomena has some bad effects on childrens, it can be beneficial and help the youngsters in their future life.
There are arguments that youngsters should
be obliged
to work free for developing their community after school hours. In my opinion, I completely
agree
that although this might has a number of adverse effects on the
children
,
but
it would be
benefical
.

On the one hand, academical hours are
mostly
too long that
children
lose most of their energy and become tired.
Therefore
, forcing them to do unpaid activities after school might be too
hard
for them and
thay
cannot build a balance between work and education, and
as a result
it will affect their education.
Besides
,
some
of them may lose their concentration in the school by being
so
overwhelmed in the job.
For instance
, research
showed
that youth whom
are forced
to work after academical hours
mostly
have the worst grades among pupils, as they have no time to study at home.

On the other hand
, this theory can be suitable both for the
people
and the community.
Firstly
,
children
learn to be responsible about their community and
as a result
when they grow up they will be beneficial
people
for the country.
Secondly
,
some
of them can find their interest and
make
better decisions about their future career and field of study. And
finally
, they are young and full of energy and
therefore
the society can
use
this energy in order to
improve
the standards of life.

To conclude
, I believe that despite the fact that these phenomena has
some
bad
effects on
childrens
, it can be beneficial and
help
the youngsters in their future life.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid job in their free times.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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