Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can be beneficial for teenagers and community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can be beneficial for teenagers and community as well. jN0L
No doubt, youth is the backbone of every nation. Therefore, it is believed by some individuals that youngsters should be encouraged to do social work in their leisure time without any salary. I partially agree with this view and reasons for the same are discussed below in the subsequent divisions. To begin with the benefits of unpaid social work by the youth. First and foremost advantage is that it will make children experienced at early age because by doing work for community, they will get to learn something new everyday by their work. Moreover, this will make them habitual to do something for the betterment of society as well as enhance the feeling of brotherhood in them and they will learn to give helping hand to others because they would work with other people. Secondly, teenagers have very creative mind and they are very energetic, thus, by using their growing knowledge, one can see development of nation as well as every citizen at a higher rate. For instance, some surveys held in different countries have shown that where teenagers work for society have rapid growth in its development. On the other hand, it has some drawbacks also because it is not a long term solution as youngsters working without salary will find it annoying after some time that they are using their free time at that place which is not giving any positive outcome for themselves practically. Whereas, if they are paid for their work, then, it will help them to pay their expenses and will make them independent at very young age. As a result, they will be encouraged to work more and more, so that, they can earn more money and they will do the work with full passion and put their complete potential in that work. To recapitulate, it is a good idea to make teenagers work for community but it is not possible for long time without paying them. Hence, they should be given a fair amount for their work, so that, this idea can work properly.
No doubt, youth is the backbone of every nation.
Therefore
, it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that youngsters should
be encouraged
to do social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
without any salary. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and reasons for the same
are discussed
below in the subsequent divisions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the benefits of unpaid social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by the youth.
First
and foremost advantage is that it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
children experienced at early age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for community, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to learn something new everyday by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Moreover
, this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them habitual to do something for the betterment of society
as well
as enhance the feeling of brotherhood in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they will learn to give helping hand to others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
creative
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mind and
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
energetic,
thus
, by using their growing knowledge, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
development of nation
as well
as every citizen at a higher rate.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
surveys held in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries have shown that where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for society have rapid growth in its development.

On the other hand
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not a long term solution as youngsters working without salary will find it annoying after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that they are using their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at that place which is not giving any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome for themselves
practically
. Whereas, if they
are paid
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, then, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to pay their expenses and will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them independent at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age.
As a result
, they will
be encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more and more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, they can earn more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they will do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with full passion and put their complete potential in that work.

To recapitulate, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not possible for long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
without paying them.
Hence
, they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
amount for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
properly
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can be beneficial for teenagers and community as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts