Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. j261
It is believed by some individuals that young generation do work without for money which is beneficial for the society as well as individuals. However, In my opinion, i partially agree with this notion and i will elaborate more in upcoming paragraphs before reaching to conclusion. There are number of arguments which stands in favour of teenagers should do volunteer work in their free time. The first and foremost reason is that, if young people will do upaid work in leisure time it would be beneficial for government as well as companies where they will work because of they will have less pressure to give salary to the workers. Therefore, expenditure can be spent on other areas such as provide shelter to poor people. Secondly, olderly population will have numerous opportunity in order to get retirement pensions on right time as government have less burden. Another striking reason is that, paying proper attention towards the other sectors like public transportation, good education system government can give priority to these fields. By doing this, the growth of economy of the country will increase worldwide. On the flip side, some intellectuals believed that teenagers should be paid. The first prominent reason for this, they could be loyal towards their work if they will get salary after done their work. Secondly, they can be independent and fulfil their basic amenities. To exemplify this, a person who is working with the company in free time and get good salary from the company can easily survive in the world without any help and also get apartment for live and private vehicle to travel. Thus, it is essential for the organisation as well as teenagers for paid for work. Needless to say, they will have more encouragement in order to get their achievements. In conclusion, to some extent, i believed that, it is good idea to do work without salary, it is authority to teenagers get their wages after work.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that young generation do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without for money which is beneficial for the society
as well
as individuals.
However
, In my opinion,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion and
Did you mean "I"?
i
will elaborate more in upcoming paragraphs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching to conclusion.

There are number of arguments which stands in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should do volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The
first
and foremost reason is that, if young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will do
Possible spelling mistake found.
upaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
it would be beneficial for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
where they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Probable usage error. Use "because they" instead.
because of they
will have less pressure to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
to the workers.
Therefore
, expenditure can
be spent
on other areas such as provide shelter to poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Secondly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
olderly
population will have numerous opportunity in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
retirement pensions on right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have less burden. Another striking reason is that, paying proper attention towards the other sectors like public transportation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can give priority to these fields. By doing this, the growth of economy of the country will increase worldwide.

On the flip side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
intellectuals believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should
be paid
. The
first
prominent reason for this, they could be loyal towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
if they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
after done their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Secondly
, they can be independent and fulfil their basic amenities. To exemplify this, a person who is working with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
can
easily
survive in the world without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
apartment for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and private vehicle to travel.
Thus
, it is essential for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
for paid for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Needless to say, they will have more encouragement in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their achievements.

In conclusion
, to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believed that, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, it is authority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their wages after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?