Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? wRDq
Across the globe, a plethora of individuals have debated about parental contributions towards the development of children. Some of them claim that parents’ willingness to see their offspring as successful people is often demonstrated by forcing and constant pressure. Therefore, this essay will examine main factors behind this issue and suggest a variety of examples to prove its being a negative development. First of all, such occasions are usually caused by parents’ desires to ensure them with the victorious future as well as themselves with peaceful retired ages. In other words, by enforcing them to do a number of activities, it is conceivable to control and observe their progress. For instance, one of the good examples of this would be consistent enrolment in various courses which allow learners to develop their particular skills. Another significant reason for parents is to be utterly certain about future of them. It conclusively means that at the moment they are retired from their works, they will have a total guarantee on tranquil life with the financial support from their offspring. Nowadays, a lot of families’ old aged members mostly rely on the salary of their kids in order to survive. Secondly, on the one hand, there is quite a compelling argument to find this statement positive due to considering it as a responsibility of mothers and fathers. However, I tend to think that there are more damaging effects on children owing to their mental conditions and worsening relationships between family members. Firstly, under the pressure, kids frequently experience such problems as stress and depression. To illustrate, if they got a bad mark, then they would probably be punished by their parents. Thus, they both would not be able to hear what they tell each other, and as a result, family connection would be destroyed. To conclude from the aforementioned points, the most substantial reasons responsible for the given belief are parent’s outlooks on future of their offspring and them. Despite this, I firmly believe that pressure from parents contributes mostly to terrible consequences such as the deterioration of kids’ emotional health and relationships between them.
Across the globe, a plethora of individuals have debated about parental contributions towards the development of children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
willingness to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their offspring as successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
demonstrated by forcing and constant pressure.
Therefore
, this essay will examine main factors behind this issue and suggest a variety of examples to prove its being a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, such occasions are
usually
caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
desires to ensure them with the victorious future
as well
as themselves with peaceful retired ages.
In other words
, by enforcing them to do a number of activities, it is conceivable to control and observe their progress.
For instance
, one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
examples of this would be consistent
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
in various courses which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
learners to develop their particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Another significant reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is to be
utterly
certain about future of them. It
conclusively
means that at the moment they
are retired
from their works, they will have a total guarantee on tranquil life with the financial support from their offspring. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
families’
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
aged members
mostly
rely on the salary of their kids in order to survive.

Secondly
, on the one hand, there is quite a compelling argument to find this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
due to considering it as a responsibility of mothers and fathers.
However
, I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are more damaging effects on children owing to their mental conditions and worsening relationships between family members.
Firstly
, under the pressure, kids
frequently
experience such problems as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and depression. To illustrate, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
mark, then they would
probably
be punished
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Thus
, they both would not be able to hear what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
each other, and
as a result
, family connection would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
.

To conclude
from the aforementioned points, the most substantial reasons responsible for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
belief are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
outlooks on future of their offspring and them. Despite this, I
firmly
believe that pressure from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
contributes
mostly
to terrible consequences such as the deterioration of kids’ emotional health and relationships between them.

IELTS essay Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?