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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Few citizens feel that young children should be responsible to do voluntary work in their leisure time. This essay agrees with the above statement. The essay will first discuss that teenagers get real life experience and improve their skills and then talk about communities do not need to pay for their work, followed by reasoned conclusion. To commence with, if adolescents work for community service such as, local NGOs, education of rural areas, food production for poor children then it would help them to enhance their skills and knowledge. To elaborate, they could work for free and get more real-world experience rather than money so, it will help them to understand people even better. For example, recent study in US shows that adolescents who work as volunteer in any of local community, in future they will become good human being and successful person. Moreover, more and more volunteers help community to grow better and allow them to spared their good work to number of residents. To illustrate, for community work they do not have to pay anything to any person so, it Is good thing for everyone especially government and NGOs. For instance, few decades back Gujrat government started large amount of communities to help needy citizens and animals and after few years they did one survey and announce that if they could know how volunteer work improve their life, they would start this very early. In conclusion, this essay discuss how unpaid community work could give benefit to both youth and government. It is more significant for everyone to do volunteer work in free time.
Few citizens feel that young children should be responsible to do voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their leisure time. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the above statement. The essay will
first
discuss that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
real life experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and then talk about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
do not need to pay for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, followed by reasoned conclusion.

To commence with, if adolescents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
service such as, local NGOs, education of rural areas, food production for poor children then it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to enhance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge. To elaborate, they could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for free and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more real-world experience
rather
than money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to understand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
even better.
For example
, recent study in US
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that adolescents who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
in any of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, in future they will become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
human being and successful person.

Moreover
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
to grow better and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
Did you mean "spare"?
spared
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to number of residents. To illustrate, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay anything to any person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it Is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing for everyone
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and NGOs.
For instance
, few decades back
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gujrat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
needy citizens and animals and after few years they did one survey and announce that if they could know how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their life, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early.

In conclusion
,
The verb 'discuss' is plural. Did you mean: "this essay discusses"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this essay discuss
how unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
could give benefit to both youth and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. It is more significant for everyone to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in free time.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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