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Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health. Others believe that the Government should make sure that their citizens are healthy. Discuss both views.

Health is the main component of living a happy and long life. Some people argue that this is important for every human being to look for their health. While others advise that it the government's responsibility to take care of their resident's health. This essay will discuss both sides. In today's modern era, everyone is occupied with their work and they don't give enough time to their health, which is not a good thing for them and their respective families. Therefore, they should eat a healthy diet and regularly do exercise to maintain their healthy lifestyle. Because, every person has to think about their families and personal life as well. For example, research has shown that a healthy person lives happy and wealthy life than an unhealthy one. On the other hand, health and education are a significant component of any country's economy. Hence, if the government wants to make a good impression overseas then they have to make efforts for the health of their public. For that, the government should provide free healthcare services to their citizens and can organize free awareness campaigns for health care tips. For instance, the Government of Canada has been giving health care services free of cost to all over Canada. Thus, they are more healthy than Indian people. To conclude, health is vital for an individual and the government also. Despite, it is necessary for each person to must take care of their health, the government of each country should try to provide good facilities and a healthy lifestyle to residents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
is the main component of living a happy and long life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for every human being to look for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others advise that it the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's responsibility to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their resident's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. This essay will discuss both sides.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern era, everyone
is occupied
with their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they don't give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, which is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing for them and their respective families.
Therefore
, they should eat a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet and
regularly
do exercise to maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, every person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their families and personal life
as well
.
For example
, research has shown that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
happy and wealthy life than an unhealthy one.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and education are a significant component of any country's economy.
Hence
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impression overseas then they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
efforts for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of their public. For that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide free healthcare services to their citizens and can organize free awareness campaigns for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
tips.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
of Canada has been giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
services free of cost to all over Canada.
Thus
, they are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
than Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is vital for an individual and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
also
. Despite, it is necessary for each person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of each country should try to provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
facilities and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle to residents.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health. Others believe that the Government should make sure that their citizens are healthy.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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