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In some countries young people are not only richer, but also safer and healthier than ever before. However, they are often less happy. What do you think are the reasons for this and what can be done to help?

It is true that young adults have improved their life's standard in recent years. Measures of health, safety and income are higher than ever before. However, the lack of happiness among those people is remarkable. This essay will pinpoint what could be the main reasons for this and suggest some ways to tackle this problem. Although young people have better life quality nowadays, they are less happy than before, and I believe the main reason for this is due to recent social issues. First, young workers have to deal with higher demands in their jobs and this situation is causing too much stress. This is because they have been pressured for results and, therefore, they have been working long hours. For example, it is common to see employees working ten to twelve hours per day and complaining about their lack of time. Second, youngers recently build weaker relationships than it used to be in the past. In other words, youngers nowadays have fewer friends and, as a result, they are prone to feel depressed and lonely. To tackle this problem, both companies and the individual could take some actions. Companies should restrict the number of extra hours young people work. If companies take this measure, workers will have more free time to spend with family and leisure activities, which probably will increase their sense of happiness. To illustrate, recent research has proved that happiness is directly associated with free time. Individuals should try to make good friends and invest in deeper relationships. Friends are crucial to increase humans' level of happiness and, therefore, it should be a priority in order to feel happier. To sum up, despite the fact that nowadays youngers are safer, healthier and richer, they are struggling to find happiness. The main reasons for this are a lack of time and strong relationships. Decreasing daily working time and searching for real friends are two possible ways to solve this issue.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
their life's standard in recent years. Measures of health, safety and income are higher than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
However
, the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
among those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
remarkable. This essay will pinpoint what could be the main reasons for this and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways to tackle this problem.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have better life quality nowadays, they are less happy than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, and I believe the main reason for this is due to recent social issues.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with higher demands in their jobs and this situation is causing too much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
been pressured
for results and,
therefore
, they have been working long hours.
For example
, it is common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
employees working ten to twelve hours per day and complaining about their lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Second,
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
recently build weaker relationships than it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be in the past.
In other words
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
nowadays have fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and,
as a result
, they are prone to feel depressed and lonely.

To tackle this problem, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and the individual could take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
should restrict the number of extra hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
work. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
take this measure, workers will have more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with family and leisure activities, which
probably
will increase their sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. To illustrate, recent research has proved that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is
directly
associated with free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Individuals should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and invest in deeper relationships.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Friends
are crucial to increase humans' level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
and,
therefore
, it should be a priority in order to feel happier.

To sum up, despite the fact that nowadays
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
are safer, healthier and richer, they are struggling to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. The main reasons for this are a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and strong relationships. Decreasing daily working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and searching for real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are two possible ways to solve this issue.
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IELTS essay In some countries young people are not only richer, but also safer and healthier than ever before. However, they are often less happy. What do you think are the reasons for this and what can be done to help?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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