Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, adolescents all over the world spend their free times chiefly in the voluntary communities. In addition, the use of this work to teenagers, it has also a good impact on our community. Actually, I am a man who defends on this type of work due to the high benefits from it to the individuals and also the whole community, in this essay I will give a number of explanations defending my opinion. Firstly, the unpaid community has a lot of services that the teenagers can take the benefits from it. It essentially concentrates on the thinking of the youth and growing their knowledge and also enhance the independence, for instance, we can see those adolescents that are working in voluntary works show more activity and progress in their fields. In addition, these communities help teenagers to make beneficial participation in public life and toward their governments. Moving on, not only the impact of working in unpaid societies on individuals on the contrary also it has a good effect on the governments. Actually, it gives the impression that there are changes in the quality of our life to better, for example, in countries which interest in a voluntary society, we will find that there are more stable than others that ignore this type of work. Besides that, the most essential influence is represented in the economy, these societies help nations to take the trust that these nations are safe for investment. So, the interest of unpaid communities especially to teenagers have a number of advantages for individuals and governments. In brief, we should focus our caring about unpaid communities mainly for teenagers to create citizen to afford the responsibility. Also, I hope international agencies aid these societies and remove any obstacles they can face it.
Nowadays, adolescents all over the world spend their free times
chiefly
in the voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
, it has
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impact on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. Actually, I am a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who defends on this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
due to the high benefits from it to the individuals and
also
the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, in this essay I will give a number of explanations defending my opinion.
Firstly
, the unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
services that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
can take the benefits from it. It
essentially
concentrates on the thinking of the youth and growing their knowledge and
also
enhance the independence,
for instance
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
those adolescents that are working in voluntary works
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
more activity and progress in their fields.
In addition
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
beneficial participation in public life and toward their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. Moving on, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the impact of working in unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
on individuals
on the contrary
also
it has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effect on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. Actually, it gives the impression that there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the quality of our life to better,
for example
, in countries which interest in a voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, we will find that there are more stable than others that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Besides
that, the most essential influence
is represented
in the economy, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
nations to take the trust that these nations are safe for investment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the interest of unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
especially
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
have a number of advantages for individuals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.
In brief
, we should focus our caring about unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
mainly
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to create citizen to afford the responsibility.
Also
, I hope international agencies aid these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
and remove any obstacles they can face it.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?