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some people believe that teenagers can learn use skills by playing computer games. Other argue that teenagers playing computer games are waisting their time. discuss both views

some people believe that teenagers can learn use skills by playing computer games. Other argue that teenagers playing computer games are waisting their time. discuss both views Lqxrp
It is true that people have a number of the arguments to the benefits about playing computer and electronic games. Although there is some truth the belief that playing computer games waste of time, I would side with those who think playing such games enhances certain skills. One the one hand, there is many reasons why people consider video game is a waste regardless of the possibility of skills the development they might offer. It is no doubt the children focus on the lessons at school and maintain their knowledge when lack of the electronic games. Those types of computer games are fun, however, there are addictive at the same time. Consuming a lot of time would be used for if players are exposed to them on frequent basis. Thus, the quality of the study will decrease quickly and lost purpose should be the priority at their age is study. In addition, skills sharpened by computer game lack of elements to protect the health as myopic, exhausted energy and distraction. For example, the research of Tuoi Tre newspapers base on the children ages from 10 to 15 lack of the skills communication due to the fact the electronic games rates to 57 percent. Therefore, spending time participate in the outside activity like the football, swim, tennis and read book. One the other hand, it is clear that the computer games is favored in the modern society as high levels skills need play creative thinking. First, numerous games, such as puzzle game, stimulate young player's brain and sensitive which those players have an opportunity to cultivate their creativity and problem solving skills. Second, playing the computer games do not harmful like some people is believed, such as many events and the competitions is organized with ambitions to find the talent teenager have potential technological with big reward. Furthermore, in the extreme more computer games can be able to play and learn at the same time so that studying seem to be easy than before. For instance, the stimulate Vua Tieng Viet gave curious and interest for young generation with part of find the synonyms Vietnamese. At the result, teenager have more variety words. In conclusion, although people think the computer games make young generation distraction to study but it is the fact that the computer games have advantages the teenagers to learn in the modern society instead of wasting their time.
It is true that
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people
have a number of the arguments to the benefits about
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playing
computer and electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Although there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
truth the belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I would side with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
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playing
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
enhances certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider video game is a waste regardless of the possibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
the development they might offer. It is no doubt the children focus on the lessons at school and maintain their knowledge when lack of the electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Those types of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are fun,
however
, there are addictive at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Consuming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for if players
are exposed
to them on frequent basis.
Thus
, the quality of the study will decrease
quickly
and lost purpose should be the priority at their age is study.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
sharpened by computer game lack of elements to protect the health as myopic, exhausted energy and distraction.
For example
, the research of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tuoi
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tre
newspapers base on the children ages from 10 to 15 lack of the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "skills'" or "skill's"?
skills
communication due to the fact the electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
rates to 57 percent.
Therefore
, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
participate in the outside activity like the football, swim, tennis and read book.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the other hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is favored
in the modern society as high levels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
need play creative thinking.
First
, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, such as puzzle game, stimulate young player's brain and sensitive which those players have an opportunity to cultivate their creativity and problem solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Second,
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playing
the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
do not harmful like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
believed, such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and the competitions
is organized
with ambitions to find the talent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
have potential technological with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
reward.
Furthermore
, in the extreme more computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can be able to play and learn at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that studying seem to be easy than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
For instance
,
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'stimulate' is correct. If 'stimulate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the stimulate
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vua
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tieng
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
gave curious and interest for young generation with part of find the synonyms Vietnamese. At the result,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
have more variety words.

In conclusion
, although
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
young generation distraction to study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is the fact that the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have advantages the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to learn in the modern society
instead
of wasting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay some people believe that teenagers can learn use skills by playing computer games. Other argue that teenagers playing computer games are waisting their time. discuss both views

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
400 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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