Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Every country has its unique culture that defines the fabric of its society. It is debated that the country of origin has a major influence on a person's culture. I will discuss and provide evidence on both sides of the debate in this essay and justify my opinion that a person's culture is minimally influenced by their country of origin. Every county's tradition stems from its history. Most countries have religious and race wars in its past that has defined its society. Speaking about the world's largest democracy, India; it is a melting pot of different religions which comes with different beliefs and cultures. With 33 official languages and seven recognized religions, citizens of India share about a hundred festivals among each other. These customs and traditions have been ingrained in Indian society for the past 1000 years. One such value system that defines culture of an individual is identified in ancient scriptures. These scriptures have "respect your elders" engrained almost everywhere. Any child born in this society, typically, does not raise their voice against elders. While this has had both positive and negative impacts, acknowledging that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin is accurate in many ways. With advent of technology and globalization, information has been decentralized and distributed in the best possible way. This means people are exposed to other cultures and have even gone ahead to imbibe them. This action of adopting a culture that speaks to one self, refutes the claim that a person's country of origin has a major influence on their culture. To give an example, a close friend of mine who was born India, is drawn to the culture of United States. She likes the freedom here and as an atheist can live without judgement in the Unites States as compared to the oppressive environment she grew up in. In no way does she represent the narrow and conservative ideologies shared by her family. That's where her country of origin does not have any influence on her personal culture. In this day and age where social media has broken the boundaries of communication, I am of the opinion that every person cultivates their own culture and beliefs. Thus the country of origin might give you a know-how of a single culture but the exposure in one's daily life to global media will inculcate culture and beliefs of all countries. In conclusion, level of influence that one's country of origin has on a person's culture is debatable and you have see in the essay how both sides of the argument are equally valid. With that said, I'm of the belief that globalization and technology have made it very difficult for a person to be siloed by their own country's culture and that it has a very minor influence.
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has its unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
that defines the fabric of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. It
is debated
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
origin
has a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. I will discuss and provide evidence on both sides of the debate in this essay and justify my opinion that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is
minimally
influenced by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of origin.

Every county's tradition stems from its history. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have religious and race wars in its past that has defined its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Speaking about the world's largest democracy, India; it is a melting pot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
religions which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. With 33 official languages and seven recognized religions, citizens of India share about a hundred festivals among each other. These customs and traditions have
been ingrained
in Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
for the past 1000 years. One such value system that defines
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of an individual
is identified
in ancient scriptures. These scriptures have
Use a smart opening quote here.
"
respect your elders
Use a smart closing quote here.
"
Do not mix variants of the same word (‘engrain’ and ‘ingrain’) within a single text.
engrained
almost everywhere. Any child born in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
typically
, does not raise their voice against elders. While this has had both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts, acknowledging that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is defined
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
origin
is accurate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

With advent of technology and globalization, information has
been decentralized
and distributed in the best possible way. This means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are exposed
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and have even gone ahead to imbibe them. This action of adopting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
that speaks to one self, refutes the claim that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
origin
has a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. To give an example, a close friend of mine who
was born
India,
is drawn
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
A determiner is probably missing here: “of the United States”.
of United States
. She likes the freedom here and as an atheist can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without judgement in the Unites States as compared to the oppressive environment she grew up in. In no way does she represent the narrow and conservative ideologies shared by her family. That's where her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
origin
does not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on her personal culture.

In this day and age where social media has broken the boundaries of communication, I am of the opinion that every person cultivates their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
origin
might give you a know-how of a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the exposure in one's daily life to global media will inculcate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beliefs
of all countries.

In conclusion
, level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
that one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
origin
has on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
debatable and
you have
Use past participle here: “seen”.
see
in the essay how both sides of the argument are
equally
valid. With that said, I'm of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
belief
that globalization and technology have made it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for a person to
be siloed
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and that it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
468 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts