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Nowadays, the ratio of crime is interested in a poor countries.

Nowadays, the ratio of crime is interested in a poor countries. Under the 18-year students, who do unnecessary work, which is harmful to society, should be punished in a similar way as an adult. This essay will explain my partial disagreement in the following paragraphs. To starts with, there are plenty of reasons which push me to argue the statement. First and foremost, if any young children committed a crime, that was only because of a mistakes, they do not have any maturity at that age for doing that kind of task. Furthermore, in the constitution, it describes, that particular ages for punishment and that ages is over the 18 years, so young people are not eligible for the cost. For example, the Indian government did not punish younger citizen, that crime was transfer to their parents. On the other hand, at some time, they have to treat with punishment. Firstly, if younger children doing unsocial work, which is harmful to the culture and they did not get punishment, it will be seamless for countries and than, they will start doing this types of activity in the future, so this is not reasonable for the nation. Secondly, if any people committed the crime, there should be a punishment because that crime side effect is the same rather it is done by adult or young. To sum up, who is doing crime and their age was below 18 years. They do not have enough years, which requires for punishment as per the constitution of the nation but sometimes it is not safe for society, it will create the issues for a long run, therefore, the charge is must be needed.
Nowadays, the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is interested
in
The plural noun “countries” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a poor country” or “poor countries”?
a poor countries
. Under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
18-year
students, who do unnecessary work, which is harmful to society, should
be punished
Consider replacing this phrase with the adverb “similarly” to avoid wordiness.
in a similar way
as an adult. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my partial disagreement in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons which push me to argue the statement.
First
and foremost, if any young children committed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, that was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
The plural noun “mistakes” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a mistake” or “mistakes”?
a mistakes
, they do not have any maturity at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
that kind of task.
Furthermore
, in the constitution, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
, that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
is over the 18 years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not eligible for the cost.
For example
, the Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
did not punish younger citizen, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
was transfer to their parents.

On the other hand
, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
treat with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
Firstly
, if younger children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
unsocial work, which is harmful to the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
culture and
they did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
, it will be seamless for countries and
Did you mean “then”?
than
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
this types of activity in the future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this is not reasonable for the nation.
Secondly
, if any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
committed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, there should be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
side effect is the same
rather
it
is done
by adult or young.

To sum up, who is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
was below 18 years. They do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
years, which requires for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
as per the constitution of the nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is not safe for society, it will create the issues for a long run,
therefore
, the charge is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be needed
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, the ratio of crime is interested in a poor countries.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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