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Some people believe that success can be ensure by only university education other oppose the opinion. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that success can be ensure by only university education other oppose the opinion. Dl62o
Some people believe that success can be only ensure from university education while other people think that is also depends on other aspect. In the narrative ahead, both sides of the give argument will deliberate carefully before an honest opinion arrived at. On one hand, there are individual who are of the opinion that success of children only can be ensure from his/her study in university. The primary reason of their belief is that students get all practical knowledge in universities only. For example, in university face real challenges. They perform experiments based on real things like making robots and write research papers which help them in future. Another reason for people to have such belief is students get experience of how a company or organization. On the other hand, there are those who seem to convinced with the fact that success can not be define from study which get in university. One of the reason of such mindset is restricting university students to subjects like science and technology. For instance, if a student select mechanical field then she/she only get knowledge of their particular field only. In addition, education of school is also an important reason for people to uphold this notion. In my opinion, I believe that not only university education is key of success but other real world experience also ensure success. Getting knowledge is enough but when that knowledge apply to problem than it useful. To conclude, while it seem reasonable to focus students on study subject that they currently view as useful, but they allow to choose what they study and also allow them to apply.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
ensure from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
also
depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspect. In the narrative ahead, both sides of the give argument will deliberate
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
an honest opinion arrived at.

On one hand, there are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "individuals"?
individual
who are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
can be
Consider using the past participle "ensured"?
ensure
from his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. The primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of their belief is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
.
For example
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
face real challenges. They perform experiments based on real things like making robots and write research papers which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have such belief is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience of how a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or organization.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are those who seem to convinced with the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
can not be
Consider using a past participle here: "defined".
define
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. One of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of such mindset is restricting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to subjects like science and technology.
For instance
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
select mechanical field then she/she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gets", "got".
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of their particular field
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
.
In addition
, education of school is
also
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to uphold this notion.

In my opinion, I believe that not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education is key of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
real world experience
also
ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. Getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
apply to problem than it useful.

To conclude
, while it seem reasonable to focus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
subject that they
currently
view as useful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
Did you mean "choosing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to choose
what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to apply.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that success can be ensure by only university education other oppose the opinion.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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