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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successfull career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.

People have differing views regarding the career paths, while some believe that it possible to start a job after finishing high school. I agree with those who claim that one should have a muniversity degree to achieve better results. On the one hand, it is argued that starting work after school education is beneficial for several reasons. Firstly, after finishing school more students try to earning money. As well as, they want to have well- paid job whether studying at university or college. My idea is that, they should gain experience for having well-paid job. They should increase their interests about learning skills. Secondly, some of people try to settle down earlier, if they earn monet after graduating school. As a result, it will appear distance, because every students have a family after graduate university, that is why, their stage will be a bit higher. On the other hand, some others believe that studying at college or university is the best choice and i also support this point of view, this is because it has some jobs which requires academic qualifications, therefore students try to study in a college or university. As well as, if students study in university, it will be easier to have well-paid job, and they can achieve to get higher salaries, however, the job market will be very competitive, for compete with others, students should have knowledge. As well as, everybody try to be usefull person of society. However, it has some people, who has higher education sertification, on the contrary, they are not usufull member of society. For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that, the best choice for young people is to obtain a degree and then seek their career paths in the world of work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have differing views regarding the career paths, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after finishing high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who claim that one should have a
Possible spelling mistake found.
muniversity
degree to achieve better results. On the one hand, it
is argued
that starting work after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
education is beneficial for several reasons.
Firstly
, after finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
try to
Did you mean "earn"?
earning
money. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as, they want to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well-
paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
whether studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is that, they should gain experience for having well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. They should increase their interests about learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to settle down earlier, if they earn
Possible spelling mistake found.
monet
after
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduating from".
graduating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
As a result
, it will appear distance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "student"?
students
have a family after graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
that is
why, their stage will be a bit higher.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others believe that studying at college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is the best choice and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
also
support this point of view, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which requires academic qualifications,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
try to study in a college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, it will be easier to have well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, and they can achieve to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher salaries,
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competitive, for compete with others,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should have knowledge. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as, everybody
The pronoun 'everybody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "tries", "tried".
try
to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
usefull
person of society.
However
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who has higher education
Possible spelling mistake found.
sertification
,
on the contrary
, they are not
Possible spelling mistake found.
usufull
member of society. For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that, the best choice for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
to obtain a degree and then seek their career paths in the world of work.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successfull career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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