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Some people believe that sports are a key element in our society, while others argue that its just a recreational activity to be done in ones free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that sports are a key element in our society, while others argue that its just a recreational activity to be done in ones free time. awgVd
Sports plays a vital role of everyone's life. Some masses think that sports are a key element in our community, but others people arguing that it is just a leisure time activity. In my prespective, sports are beneficial for individuals life that i will discussed both view of points in my upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, sports are a key elements of everybody life because it maintain their lifestyle. People are indulging into sports for physically fit as well as mentaly fit too. Furthermore, government should also arranged the different types of tournaments for scoholars and people areindulging into the sports. Due to this, masses feel healthy and fit while playing the games. On the other hand, nowadays people are very busy in their hectic schedule as well as they are not able to do sports in their daily routine. Because individuals are less indulging into sports and they are not awaring about sports. People are liking to do sports in their free time. Because in community people should prefer to play sports games in their leisure time activity. In my opinion, people are busy in their own life. Because of over work is not good for their heath. Due to this, masses are showing negligible interest in sports and it is not good for society as well as nation also.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "sport plays".
Sports plays
a vital role of everyone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are a key element in our community,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
arguing that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a leisure time activity. In my
Possible spelling mistake found.
prespective
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are beneficial for individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "discuss"
discussed
both view of points in my upcoming paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are a key
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "element"?
elements
of everybody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "maintains"?
maintain
their lifestyle.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are indulging into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for
physically
fit
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
mentaly
fit too.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "arrange"
arranged
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of tournaments for
Possible spelling mistake found.
scoholars
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
areindulging
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Due to this, masses feel healthy and fit while playing the games.
On the other hand
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy in their hectic schedule
as well
as they are not able to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in their daily routine.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
individuals are less indulging into
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sports and
they are not
Possible spelling mistake found.
awaring
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
The verb 'liking' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are liking
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in their free time.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
in community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should prefer to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
games in their leisure time activity. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of over work is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their heath. Due to this, masses are showing negligible interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for society
as well
as nation
also
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that sports are a key element in our society, while others argue that its just a recreational activity to be done in ones free time.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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