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Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree to this statement?

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. to this statement? n6Eyg
Over the past few decades there have been a significant changes in the human behavior on their spending habits. They are spending money without a limit that may cause our entire society by facing huge problems. The main two reason for the problem is social status and unnecessary loans granted by the banks. Our society is well-educated and independent due to that everyone wants to improve their standard of living by purchasing high quality goods like dresses, electronic devices, vehicles etc. For instance, if a person working as a low level employee in order to protect his/her image in the society he needs to spent extra money for buying such valuable things. Another reason is that, granting loans from bank has been an easy process for every individual therefore people access more money from loan for unnecessary activities such as construction of buildings, purchasing vehicles etc. For example, people take huge amount of money by giving their property to the bank. If they could not pay back, bank has the right to the possession of their property. Some possible solution to these problems are, increase the price of goods and limit the loans from banks. By increasing the prices of goods, people reduce their extra spending therefore, they can save their income for any other future purposes. For example, if a price of a product increases as double, there will be a limit of buying the product because the product price exceeds their income. Another solution is to set a limit for granting loans to people. It means that, bank should inspect each and everyone before granting the loan, if they are not willing to pay back the loan it will leads to a huge crisis. In conclusion, people are spending their money for improving their standard of living. However, society should be more conscious about their income, then only they can make their life better and more comfortable. Over the past few decades, there have been a significant changes in the world after the development of technological advancement. Many people think that there are number of choices in todays world, i agree with their statement because, the options are increased by the growth of the technologies. After the innovation of the technologies, there are number of opportunities for the people which is increasing related to their future growth. Firstly, now these days, there are different options are available for the academic purposes whereas students can choose their interested subjects after completing their secondary education. For example, children can select subjects like science, commerce, math's, etc. which help to attain their ambitions. Secondly, there are number of choices is based of jobs that help the people to improve their standard of living. To be more specific, students can have the options to take the perfect job after their degree or post graduation. For example, when a student completed his/her post graduation in MBA, they can choose Marketing, Human resource, Finance, Tourism etc. On the other hand, choices can be negative aspects because some people will misuse it rather than using it in a positive way. Now these days, fraudulent activities is increasing in our society, one of a problem is creating fake certificates for getting jobs. The reason is that every company needs good candidates so they are verifying it with students certificates and their percentage. Finally, students loose their stability after selecting their stream for studying. For example, some students jump from one subjects to another this is because of false interpretation from society. In conclusion, choosing of correct and informative choices is an important factor for every human instead of selecting negative choices. It will help everyone especially students to achieve their future goals as well as to make their life better and safe.
Over the past few decades there have been a significant
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "change"?
changes
in the human behavior on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
habits. They are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
that may cause our entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by facing huge problems.

The main two reason for the problem is social status and unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
granted by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is well-educated and independent due to that everyone wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their standard of living by purchasing high quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
like dresses, electronic devices, vehicles etc.
For instance
, if a person working as a low level employee in order to protect his/her image in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
he needs to spent extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for buying such valuable things. Another reason is that, granting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
has been an easy process for every individual
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
access more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
for unnecessary activities such as construction of buildings, purchasing vehicles etc. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by giving their property to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
. If they could not pay back,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
has the right to the possession of their property.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
possible solution to these problems are, increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
. By increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
therefore
, they can save their income for any other future purposes. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of a product increases as double, there will be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
of buying the product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
exceeds their income. Another solution is to set a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limit
for granting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loans
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It means that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
should inspect each and
Did you mean "every one"?
everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "grants", "granted".
granting
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
, if they are not willing to pay back the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loan
it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
leads
to a huge crisis.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for improving their standard of living.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
should be more conscious about their income, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life better and more comfortable.

Over the past few decades, there have been a significant
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "change"?
changes
in the world after the development of technological advancement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
world,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with their statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the options
are increased
by the growth of the technologies.

After the innovation of the technologies, there are number of opportunities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which is increasing related to their future growth.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
these days, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
options are available for the academic purposes whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can choose their interested subjects after completing their secondary education. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, children can select subjects like science, commerce, math's, etc. which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to attain their ambitions.
Secondly
, there are number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
is based
of jobs that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their standard of living. To be more specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can have the options to take the perfect job after their degree or post graduation. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
completed his/her post graduation in MBA, they can choose Marketing, Human resource, Finance, Tourism etc.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will misuse it
rather
than using it in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
these days, fraudulent activities is increasing in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, one of a problem is creating fake certificates for getting jobs. The reason is that every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
candidates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are verifying it with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
certificates and their percentage.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their stability after selecting their stream for studying. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
jump from one subjects to another this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of false interpretation from society.

In conclusion
, choosing of correct and informative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor for every human
instead
of selecting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
everyone
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to achieve their future goals
as well
as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life better and safe.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. to this statement?

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
626 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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