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Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Dlo16
Nowadays, we are using high technology and more on engage in science. Professional people understand, students they have their freedom to choose any course or subject to study for them to be successful in their carrier. Firstly, graduate needs to study science. We have a lot of problems in our mother earth that related to science for instance the pollution, global warming, increasing of using electricity, and virus. Now we are facing of virus called corona virus that affects the whole world. Nation needs a help from the new generation people that can help the universe to work out to stop spreading the killing virus. Secondly, On the other hand graduate that choose her course/subject to study become successful in her/his carrier. However, young leaner needs supervision from the adult in order for them to be in the right track. If the pupil will feel that she/he is getting support it would be more eager to study for what course he/she choose. Indeed, scholar they will feel happiness while studying what they like and it gives them motivation to study hard to finish with a good result. Thirdly, scholar that force to learn subject/course that they doesn’t like it was found out that will turn to the following situation. For example; depression, unwilling to study, no motivation, dropping the subject, no eagerness to come to campus, and no interest at all to listen to the professor. Student is present in the class but he/she mind is out of the school. Learner that forced to study the subject/course the result they will have regrets in their life in the near future. In addition to, some of college learner they are only studying the subject because they need to study for them to finish the course. Furthermore, it is not willingness or comes from their heart they were force to do it by their parent. This kind of scenario it will lead to bad result. On the other hand there is still better outcome for the observer to be a successful by choosing course for them to pursue with the fully support from the professional people around them. To conclude, I strongly stand college student needs to give privilege to choose whatever they like to study with the guidance of adult for their bright future in the near someday
Nowadays, we are using high technology and more on engage in science. Professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
understand, students they have their freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
or subject to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for them to be successful in their carrier.

Firstly
, graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
science. We have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems in our mother earth that related to science
for instance
the pollution, global warming, increasing of using electricity, and virus.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
we are facing of virus called
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
that affects the whole world. Nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from the new generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the universe to work out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
spreading the killing virus.

Secondly
,
On the other hand
graduate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
her course/subject to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
become successful in her/his carrier.
However
, young leaner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
supervision from the adult in order for them to be in the right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
. If the pupil
Consider removing 'will'. (Usually, 'will' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless in the sense 'want to' or 'be willing to'.)
will feel
that she/he is getting support it would be more eager to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
he/she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
.
Indeed
, scholar they will feel happiness while studying what they like and it gives them motivation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to finish with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
result.

Thirdly
, scholar that force to learn subject/course that they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "don’t"
doesn’t
like it
was found
out that will turn to the following situation.
For example
; depression, unwilling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, no motivation, dropping the subject, no eagerness to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to campus, and no interest at all to listen to the professor. Student is present in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he/she mind is out of the school. Learner that forced to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
the subject/course the result they will have regrets in their life in the near future.
In addition
to,
Consider using "some college" or "some of the college".
some of college
learner they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
studying the subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for them to finish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
Furthermore
, it is not willingness or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from their heart they were force to do it by their parent. This kind of scenario it will lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
result.
On the other hand
there is
still
better outcome for the observer to be a successful by choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
for them to pursue with the
fully
support from the professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around them.

To conclude
, I
strongly
stand college student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to give privilege to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
whatever they like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
with the guidance of adult for their bright future in the near someday
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IELTS essay Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
386 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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