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Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. with this statement? aMV7
Advanced technology provides tremendous service day by day, guarantee all human needs are convenient to achieve. That makes people opine that we have plenty of choices to decide. I totally agree with this statement, as I experienced difficulty in making a decision since all services and products try to pamper us with variety of items. To commence, technology grown to satisfy people, it proven by many online shopping application can be downloaded in the phone. People only need one tap away for their desired products to arrived in front of their house. The convenience can be felt when we type a certain name of the products on the app, it will appear countless options of the same products with different prices, quality, and design. Here, the customers are required to decide which items will they pick, sometimes they neglected the utility of the products itself. In addition, technology is also advanced in the entertainment industry. Back then we only got TV channels which aired news, cartoons, dramas, and talkshow. If we feel like to watch a movie, we can directly go to cinema. These days, we are provided by many online streaming platform such as Netflix. There, we can decide which films from different genres to watch. This leads people to confusion since we are faced with exposure of wide-range choices to make. By all means, as technology plays vital roles in providing many choices, I do agree that we got too many options to deal with from the necessary items until the unnecessary ones. However, we need to be aware of this to avoid consumerism.
Advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
provides tremendous service day by day, guarantee all human needs are convenient to achieve. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of choices to decide. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, as I experienced difficulty in making a decision since all services and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
try to pamper us with variety of items.

To commence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
grown to satisfy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "proved"?
proven
by
Possible agreement error. The noun shopping seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much online shopping", "a good deal of online shopping".
many online shopping
application can
be downloaded
in the phone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need one tap away for their desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to arrived in front of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. The convenience can
be felt
when we type a certain name of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
on the app, it will appear countless options of the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
prices, quality, and design. Here, the customers
are required
to decide which items will they pick,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they neglected the utility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
itself.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
also
advanced in the entertainment industry. Back then we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
TV channels which aired news, cartoons, dramas, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
talkshow
. If we feel like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a movie, we can
directly
go to cinema. These days, we
are provided
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
online streaming platform such as Netflix. There, we can decide which films from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
genres to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.
Did you mean "these"?
This
leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to confusion since we
are faced
with exposure of wide-range choices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
.

By all means, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
plays vital roles in providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options to deal with from the necessary items until the unnecessary ones.
However
, we need to be aware of this to avoid consumerism.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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