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Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples

People have mixed feelings about the definition of happiness, wherein, according to some it is money that makes you the happiest, others disagree with this statement. I partially agree with the former viewpoint that only money can make you happy, however, in my opinion, that’s not the only factor that contributes to happiness in your life rather I believe that there are other factors like health and internal satisfaction which plays a defining role in people’s life. On one hand, money can buy a certain degree of happiness; firstly, when people can financially take care of themselves, their mental health is better thus, they feel glad. For an instance, research shows that emotional well-being rises with the increase in income. Secondly, for some people, happiness is buying a tangible item which they can only achieve when they are wealthy. For example, if we have a strong affinity for something, then buying that will definitely make us happy. Therefore, wealthiness can be a mode of happiness. On the contrary, people who do not consider money to be the whole sole method of achieving joyfulness argue that pleasure achieved through materialistic things is short-lived, and things which can bring real happiness are free like love, friend, family, and so on. There is a study that shows that depression cases are more prevalent in wealthier people who are not close to their loved ones and also, not socially active; in the hour of need, they find themselves alone which impacts their mental health. In my view, beyond simply having money, a sense of fulfillment, and peace is also paramount. It does not matter how wealthy, we are if we are not satisfied because this might have negative consequences on our health. Similarly, if we cannot afford our basic needs like food, shelter, and health care, then also we cannot be joyful, so happiness cannot be just achieved by money nor just by being satisfied, a balance is required to feel real contentment in our lives
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People
have mixed feelings about the definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
, wherein, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you the happiest, others disagree with this statement. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former viewpoint that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you happy,
however
, in my opinion, that’s not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
factor that contributes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in your life
rather
I believe that there are other factors like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and internal satisfaction which plays a defining role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a certain degree of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
;
firstly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
financially
take care of themselves, their mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is better
thus
, they feel glad. For an instance, research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that emotional well-being rises with the increase in income.
Secondly
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is buying a tangible item which they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
achieve when they are wealthy.
For example
, if we have a strong affinity for something, then buying that will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us happy.
Therefore
, wealthiness can be a mode of happiness.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to be the whole sole method of achieving joyfulness argue that pleasure achieved through materialistic things is short-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
, and things which can bring real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
are free like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, friend, family, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. There is a study that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that depression cases are more prevalent in wealthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not close to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones and
also
, not
socially
active; in the hour of need, they find themselves alone which impacts their mental health.

In my view, beyond
simply
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, a sense of fulfillment, and peace is
also
paramount. It does not matter how wealthy, we are if we are not satisfied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Similarly
, if we cannot afford our basic needs like food, shelter, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care, then
also
we cannot be joyful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
cannot be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
achieved by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
nor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by
being satisfied
, a balance
is required
to feel real contentment in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
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IELTS essay Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Give your own opinion and examples

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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