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Some people believe that modern architecture has made cities more attractive in the last century.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that modern architecture has made cities more attractive in the last century. yRkmP
In some regions around the world it is believed that modern architecture has benefited cities of making them more attractive in the last century. I believe that modern architecture had a massive impact on cities regarding the attractiveness. Through the building of modern architecture more tourists abroad can be attracted to visit modern cities. With modern architecture international tourists can be convinced to visit a modern city due to the innovative infrastructure, plenty of opportunities from a business point of view. In addition to that modern architectures can offer tourists an enormous choices of activities within the city. For instance tourists have got the opportunity to do sight-seeing since the performance of infrastructure of a modern city is high. Also the building of modern architecture helps the city visually to change the appearance of it as old and ruined buildings can be changed in their appearance. Owing to the fact that cities do not benefit at all if old and ruined buildings do not bring any value for the city is better to build new. With the help of modern architecture the economy of a city can be increased because it brings enormous value for the city. The city can definitely benefit from a economic standpoint from it since cities with modern architectures and appearance nowadays tend to profit from it. For example you can see it in Dubai. Dubai was a desert city back then however transformed into a famous international city nowadays owing to modern architecture. In conclusion it is to be said that city can profit heavily of modern architecture from a economic point of view.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regions around the world it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
has benefited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
of making them more attractive in the last century. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
had a massive impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
regarding the attractiveness.

Through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
abroad can
be attracted
to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
can
be convinced
to visit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
city due to the innovative infrastructure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of opportunities from a business point of view.
In addition
to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architectures
can offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
an enormous
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "choice"?
choices
of activities within the city.
For instance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the opportunity to do sight-seeing since the performance of infrastructure of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
city is high.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the city
visually
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the appearance of it as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and ruined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in their appearance. Owing to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
do not benefit at all if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and ruined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
do not bring any value for the city is better to build new. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
the economy of a city can
be increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it brings enormous value for the city. The city can definitely benefit from
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
economic standpoint from it since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architectures
and appearance nowadays tend to profit from it. For
The comma is probably missing here: "example, you".
example you
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it in Dubai. Dubai was a desert city back then
however
transformed into a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
international city nowadays owing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
architecture.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, it".
conclusion it
is to
be said
that city can profit
heavily
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
architecture
from
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
economic point of view.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that modern architecture has made cities more attractive in the last century.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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