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Some people believe that jobs provide both income and a social life,while others think that friends should be made outside of work.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that jobs provide both income and a social life, while others think that friends should be made outside of work. NXGb
According to some people jobs provide a steady income and an opportunity to make friends, while others feel that we should always make friends outside our work place. In this essay i shall discuss about the merits and demerits of both in my upcoming paragraphs and give my overall opinion. One of the biggest benefit of making friends at office is that they make your work life less stressful. Having good companions at work place makes you feel more comfortable and you feel like a family there. There are number of instances where you find yourself somewhere stuck and your colleagues giving you a helping hand. This makes it easy and less distressing, so having friends at office definitely is a big plus. on the other hand, having friends at office may expose your personal life. If you share any of your secrets with anyone close to you in office they may end up telling it to someone else. This way you can sometimes feel upset and embarrassed. In conclusion, i would say it is good to have friends at office as they make it easy for you by providing you a helping helping whenever you are in need but i suggest better not to share your personal life with anyone as that can be disturbing at times. Overall, I am of the opinion to have good circle at work because we spend most of our day time there.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
jobs
provide a steady income and an opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, while others
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feel
that we should always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
outside our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place. In this essay
Did you mean "I"?
i
shall
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
merits and demerits of both in my upcoming paragraphs and give my
overall
opinion. One of the biggest benefit of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
is that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
life less stressful. Having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
companions at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
more comfortable and you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
like a family there. There are number of instances where you find yourself somewhere stuck and your colleagues giving you a helping hand. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
it easy and less distressing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
definitely is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
plus.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
may expose your personal life.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
you share any of your secrets with anyone close to you in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up telling it to someone else. This way you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
upset and embarrassed.
In conclusion
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would say it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it easy for you by providing you a helping
The verb 'helping' is used with an infinitive: "to help" or "help".
helping
whenever you are in need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
suggest better not to share your personal life with anyone as that can be disturbing at times.
Overall
, I am of the opinion to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
circle at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we spend most of our day time there.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that jobs provide both income and a social life, while others think that friends should be made outside of work.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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