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Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature and history of their own country than other.

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature and history of their own country than other. xg2yQ
It is argued that children should learn literature and history of their nation rather than those of other nations. To a certain extent I agree with this statement, I also believe that it is beneficial for children to learn other nations' history and literature. There are some sophisticated reasons why it is believed by people that children should learn their own literature and history. Firstly, every country has their own legendary history which is a part of their identity so that people believe that it should be preserved and it is mandatory for problem to grow their about their own tradition and culture. Secondly, there would be a plethora of glorious achievement which is made by their ancestors. For instance, in 1971, Bangladesh achieved independent from Pakistani aggressive domination by sacrificing their blood and life, and it is their one of the greatest gain. Children should know about that and this glory should be passed generations to generations. By knowing this, they can feel what did their ancient for their country. It gives them inspiration to take part in the development of the country. On the other hand, I think that besides learning their own country's literature and history, children should learning other countries. Firstly, the main goal of education is learning no matter what is it or what about that. By studying other's literature and history one can make his knowledge more wider. As he reads different types of books for different countries, he can familiar with various types of people as well as culture and traditional. Second, one can learn easily about a country's key point of development by reading the history or literature books of this country. For example, if anyone study Japanese literature or history, he can know about the ancient people of Japan and how they gradually become a develop country. In conclusion, it is necessary for children to learn their own history and literature and it would be a beneficial approach to study other countries' as well.
It
is argued
that
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children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of their nation
rather
than those of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations. To a certain extent I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, I
also
believe that it is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and literature.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sophisticated reasons why it
is believed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
Firstly
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
legendary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
which is a part of their identity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it should
be preserved
and it is mandatory for problem to grow their about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
tradition and culture.
Secondly
, there would be a plethora of glorious achievement which
is made
by their ancestors.
For instance
, in 1971, Bangladesh achieved
The usual collocation for "independent" is "of" not "from". Did you mean "independent of"?
independent from
Pakistani aggressive domination by sacrificing their blood and life, and it is their one of the greatest gain.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should know about that and this glory should
be passed
generations to generations. By knowing this, they can feel what did their ancient for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It gives them inspiration to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the development of the country.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
besides
learning their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "learn"
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Firstly
, the main goal of education is learning no matter what is it or what about that. By studying other's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
his knowledge
Use only "wider" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more wider
. As he reads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of books for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, he
The word 'familiar' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
can familiar
with various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as culture and traditional. Second, one can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
easily
about a country's key point of development by reading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
books of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, if anyone
The pronoun 'anyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "studies", "studied".
study
Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, he can know about the ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of Japan and how they
gradually
become
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'develop' is correct. If 'develop' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a develop
country.

In conclusion
, it is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literature
and it would be a beneficial approach to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries'
as well
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature and history of their own country than other.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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