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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or storage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is considered by some that acceptance of unfortunate times in life, like financial instability or unpleasant job, is the best they can do, while other think that an individual need to put efforts in order to improve unsatisfactory circumstances. In my opinion, a person should never quit trying under any condition, as prolonged efforts give a ray of hope for betterment. To begin with, many believe that the optimal solution to an unexpected state is ‘acceptance’. Even though accepting it wouldn’t solve any issues, but their mental capabilities make them believe that this phase is inevitable and uncontrollable, thus they need to accept it. If proper counselling is provided, with hands-on guidance session, it would somehow lead to the change in their point of views. Though some situations are unavoidable, for instance, COVID19 virus circumstances are beyond our control, hence accepting and living with it provided that precautions are taken by individuals is mandatory. On the other hand, multiple attempts to downgrade bad circumstances is no doubt the best a human can do. One must keep endeavouring until they find a way out for betterment. While a person is in his comfort zone, he will never think out of the box. Such unexpected and unseen mishaps compel one to process their mental capabilities on a higher scale than usual. Therefore, leading to innovative mind plans in order to cope with the bad, and to upgrade and elevate the bad states. To conclude, my opinion based on my personal experiences, our brains have tremendous capabilities, we need to learn – how, when and where to operate them at its peak levels. There is a famous saying ‘God helps those who help themselves’, means we need to struggle until we achieve what we will, and god will keep assisting us. People who lose hope on trying, need to be given counselling to motivate them, for their benefit.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that acceptance of unfortunate times in life, like financial instability or unpleasant job, is the best they can do, while other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that an individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to put efforts in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
unsatisfactory circumstances. In my opinion, a person should never quit trying under any condition, as prolonged efforts give a ray of hope for betterment.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that the optimal solution to an unexpected state is ‘acceptance’.
Even though
accepting it wouldn’t solve any issues,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their mental capabilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them believe that this phase is inevitable and uncontrollable,
thus
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to accept it. If proper counselling
is provided
, with hands-on guidance session, it would somehow lead to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their point of views. Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations are unavoidable,
for instance
,
Did you mean “COVID-19” or the alternative spelling “Covid-19” (= coronavirus)?
COVID19
virus circumstances are beyond our control,
hence
accepting and living with it provided that precautions
are taken
by individuals is mandatory.

On the other hand
, multiple attempts to downgrade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
circumstances is no doubt the best a human can do. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
Possible spelling mistake. ‘endeavouring’ is British English.
endeavouring
until they find a way out for betterment. While a person is in his comfort zone, he will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
out of the box. Such unexpected and unseen mishaps compel one to process their mental capabilities on a higher scale than usual.
Therefore
, leading to innovative mind plans in order to cope with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, and to upgrade and elevate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
states.

To conclude
, my opinion based on my personal experiences, our brains have tremendous capabilities, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to learn
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
how, when and where to operate them at its peak levels. There is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
saying ‘God
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
themselves’, means we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to struggle until we achieve what we will, and god will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
assisting us.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who lose hope on trying,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
counselling to motivate them, for their benefit.

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or storage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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