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In many countries fast food restaurant and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products. do you think this is positive or negative development?

In modern world, many nations junk food restaurant and supermarket provide financial support to school for promote their products. In my opinion, this is a positive development, since it is helpful for school development and improvement in children knowledge. First and fore most, nowadays many school have contact with restaurant, for instead academic institute encourage children to eat only in-house canteen food rather than outside food. This mainly because of school have earn money from canteen food, this can be useful form school other facilities developments such as sport and classroom. As per research, many high profile school provide canteen facilities for their students also offer other product related their education which can buy from school store. This money should use in financial budget. in addition, some healthy products especially manufacturing for leaner and it is good way to marketing and sales their items in school. for example, bournvita product, this is extremely benefit for weak children for their growth. Many company, Moreover, promote their product in school. In other word, company host such competitive events for educator and provide gift to them, consequently, a number of student motivate and part in such event. It is not just improve company brand value but also students development. For example, BYJU’S online education system held general knowledge competition on online platform, many high profile school student part in this event and win scholarship from them. Furthermore, school children also get more information about new product because of many company adversities their product such as tablet and books in school. In conclusion, I think this is a positive development, mainly because of it not just help to school development but also helpful for company value and profit, also it is a motivate pupil and aware about new products.
In modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurant and supermarket provide financial support to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, since it is helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
and improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
knowledge.

First
and
This word is normally spelled as one.
fore most
, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have contact with restaurant, for
instead
academic institute encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to eat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
canteen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
rather
than outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. This
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have
Use past participle here: “earned”.
earn
money from canteen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, this can be useful form
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
other facilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
such as sport and classroom. As per research,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
high profile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
provide canteen facilities for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
also
offer other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
related their education which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
store. This money should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in financial budget.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
in
addition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
especially
manufacturing for
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
leaner and
it is
Please check whether an article is missing: “a good”.
good
way to marketing and sales their items in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
for
example,
Possible spelling mistake found.
bournvita
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, this is
extremely
benefit for weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for their growth.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
,
Moreover
, promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In other word,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
host such competitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
for educator and provide gift to them,
consequently
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
motivate and part in such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. It is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
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company
brand value
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
For example
, BYJU’S online education system held general knowledge competition on online platform,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
high profile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
part in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
and win scholarship from them.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more information about new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
adversities their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
such as tablet and books in school.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
,
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
value and profit,
also
it is
After ‘a’, do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of ‘motivate’ is correct. If ‘motivate’ is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a motivate
pupil and aware about new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
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IELTS essay In many countries fast food restaurant and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products. do you think this is positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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