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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Although it is sometimes thought that the extinction of some species of plants and animals is the most crucial problem that we are facing, others believe that there are more significant problems happening in nature. In my opinion, I consider that the loss of some particular species will destroy the ecosystem. On the one hand, some environmental activists and people believe that plants' and animals' loss is the most concerning issue, and I agree. This issue must be tackled; otherwise, it will bring some damaging results in the future that can't be prevented anymore. In other words, the ecosystem has consisted of various types of living creatures, and any changes could destroy this cycle. For example, if an animal can't rely on its food because it has been extinct, it could result in that animal's extinction since they might not be adaptable to new situations. This loss could be explained as a snowing ball that goes down a mountain, and it gets bigger and bigger. On the other hand, others think there are more damaging problems occurring in the environment. Deforestation is one of these problems that leads to the eradication of forests by humans. As the world's population is increasing year by year, the demand for food is growing too. As a result, many forests are turning to farms. Moreover, global warming is another life-threatening which concerns many scientists. The earth is getting warmer each year by two or three degrees due to carbon dioxide emissions. Furthermore, ice mountains in the poles are melting, and consequently, the level of water is rising. In conclusion, while there are many concerning environmental issues, I believe some animals and plants' loss is primary since it will destroy the whole ecosystem. 3 All suggestions
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species of plants and animals is the most crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that we are facing, others believe that there are more significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
happening in nature. In my opinion, I consider that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular species will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the ecosystem.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
environmental activists and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that plants' and animals'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
is the most concerning issue, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. This issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be tackled
;
otherwise
, it will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
damaging results in the future that can't be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
anymore. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the ecosystem has consisted of various types of living creatures, and any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
this cycle.
For example
, if an animal can't rely on its food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has been extinct, it could result in that animal's extinction since they might not be adaptable to new situations. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
as a snowing ball that goes down a mountain, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
bigger and bigger.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are more damaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
occurring in the environment. Deforestation is one of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that leads to the eradication of forests by humans. As the world's population is increasing year by year, the demand for food is growing too.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
forests are turning to farms.
Moreover
, global warming is another life-threatening which concerns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scientists. The earth is getting warmer each year by two or three degrees due to carbon dioxide emissions.
Furthermore
, ice mountains in the poles are melting, and
consequently
, the level of water is rising.

In conclusion
, while there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
concerning environmental issues, I believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
animals and plants'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
is primary since it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the whole ecosystem.

3

All suggestions

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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