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Reducing working hours to thirty five hours a week would create employment. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this ?

Unemployment has become an immense issue worldwide. To tackle this problem every nation has it's own ways. It is reckoned that reducing working hours to thirty five hours per week would be an effective solution to this problem. However, there are numerous merits and demerits associated with this which will be further discussed in the essay. To commence with the benefits of the idea. First, it reduces the burden and stress of work because lesser the number of working hours lower will be the pressure of work, both of these are directly proportional to each other. Consequently, the hectic lifestyle would disappear and person would be able to spend more quality time with family and friends. For example, if a person works five hours a day then rest of the time he can spend with his near and dear ones. Secondly, it will give opportunity to other deserving candidates as everybody should get a chance to work and then nobody would left unemployed. Further, the poverty ratio would ultimately start eliminating. Resultantly, the number of people living below poverty line can get scope to get an employment to mitigate their hardships. Paradoxically, as every coin has two sides, similarly, there are also some drawbacks of this suggestion. If working hours will be shorten then it will directly affect the salary because less work means less income. Subsequently, it will put bad impact on the financial stability. Therefore, it becomes difficult to fulfill the fundamental necessities due to the low amount of money. Moreover, it increases competition among public. For reason of shortage of work every person tries to be the best, as a result they can acquire some wrong ethics. For instance, individuals start adopting wrong paths in order to earn more. Hence, it would create imbalance among society. To recapitulate, the advantages of shortening working hours overweigh the disadvantages. Thus, to generate jobs to cope with unemployment, the regime can implement this strategy.
Unemployment has become an immense issue worldwide. To tackle this problem every nation has
Did you mean “its” (possessive pronoun) instead of ‘it’s’ (short for ‘it is’)?
it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ways. It
is reckoned
that reducing
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working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
thirty five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week would be an effective solution to this problem.
However
, there are numerous merits and demerits associated with this which will be
further
discussed in the essay.

To commence with the benefits of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
First
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the burden and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
lesser the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
lower will be the pressure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, both of these are
directly
proportional to each other.
Consequently
, the hectic lifestyle would disappear and person would be able to spend more quality time with family and friends.
For example
, if a person works five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day then rest of the time he can spend with his near and dear ones.
Secondly
, it will give opportunity to other deserving candidates as everybody should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and then nobody would
The modal verb ‘would’ requires the verb’s base form.
left
unemployed.
Further
, the poverty ratio would
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
eliminating.
Resultantly
, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living below poverty line can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
scope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an employment to mitigate their hardships.

Paradoxically
, as every coin has two sides,
similarly
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of this suggestion. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
will be
Consider using the past participle “shortened”.
shorten
then it will
directly
affect the salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
means less income.
Subsequently
, it will put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on the financial stability.
Therefore
, it becomes difficult to fulfill the fundamental necessities due to the low amount of money.
Moreover
, it increases competition among public. For reason of shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
every person tries to be the best,
as a result
they can acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
ethics.
For instance
, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
adopting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
paths in order to earn more.
Hence
, it would create imbalance among society.

To recapitulate, the advantages of shortening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
the disadvantages.
Thus
, to generate jobs to cope with unemployment, the regime can implement this strategy.
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IELTS essay Reducing working hours to thirty five hours a week would create employment. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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