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Some people believe that government is wasting money on art and money could be spent into other. give your opinion

Some people believe that government is wasting money on art and money could be spent into other. give your opinion 85kWw
It is often said that art plays a vital role in the world. However, some ppl said that government is wasting money on art and they can spend those money into other aspects. Although, I think it is crucial for government to invest budget in other aspects, spending money on art is not eventually waste of money On the one hand, there must be two reasons that government should invest money on arts. Firstly, art is conveying one’s message. Through the art, we can expand our culture which are connect people to closely approach into a community. For example, there are cultural diversity in over the world which are eventually represented a part of arts. Moreover, people use a form of art as a relaxed way in their life. It is obvious that life is got so much struggle and people need to deal with those. As a result, art is the best way for them to just find the happiness in the rest of their life. Art is helped people release the pressure such as music, graphic design and so on. On the other hand, although government should spend the budget into art, it is not necessary to have a huge number of money into it. As we can see, there are a vast number of problems need to be solved in over the world such as health, criminal and infrastructure problems. Especially during a covid- 19 pandemic, a thousand people is dealing with food scarcity and unemployment while government is getting struggle with lack of budgets and ask for help from federal or international organizations. Spending money into art is not a great choice for government in this sensitive period. In conclusion, although art is a cultural form to connect people together in over the world, government should consider a limited number of budgets to invest into it.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
plays a vital role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
ppl
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
art and
they can spend those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
into other aspects. Although, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
in other aspects, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not
eventually
waste of money

On the one hand, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be two reasons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is conveying one’s message. Through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, we can expand our culture which are connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
closely
approach into a community.
For example
, there are cultural diversity in over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
which are
eventually
represented a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a relaxed way in their life. It is obvious that life is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much struggle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to deal with those.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is the best way for them to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
find the happiness in the rest of their life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
release the pressure such as music, graphic design and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

On the other hand
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, it is not necessary to have a huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
into it. As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, there are a vast number of problems need to
be solved
in over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
such as health, criminal and infrastructure problems.
Especially
during a
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
- 19 pandemic, a thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
dealing with food scarcity and unemployment while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is getting struggle with lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budgets
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from federal or international organizations. Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not a great choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in this sensitive period.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a cultural form to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together in over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should consider a limited number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budgets
to invest into it.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that government is wasting money on art and money could be spent into other. give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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