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ielts essay some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university

ielts essay some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university 6xW5W
many countries, youngsters are often encouraged to take an year off, to work or travel across the world, before embarking on their formal university education. This recent trend, also known as “gap – year”, has numerous merits and a few demerits, which will be discussed in this essay. To begin with, the biggest advantage of taking sabbatical to explore the world is that it gives them an opportunity to discover their career interest. Such trips are not only fun, but also gives them a chance to socialise, engage in volunteering, and understand global issues and global culture. This helps them to discover their real passion which is the foundation stone for a fulfilling career. For instance, data from Harvard University, 2010, pointed out that drop-out rate from university courses is around 10 percent less in those children who chose the course after taking a “gap year” in comparison to those who headed straight to university after the high school. In addition to this, working for a year before starting university reduces the financial burden of higher education to an extent. As the advanced studies are costly in most countries, working for a year helps them in saving money so they have to borrow less money and are under less financial debt, when they start higher studies. In contrast to above viewpoints, the most significant disadvantage of such a break is that it can be a distraction from further studies. Some students find such breaks so relaxing and enjoyable that they decide to shun further studies permanently. Although the incidences of such cases are few, the effects can be disastrous for their further career. For instance, a 2010 report from Florida University revealed that 1 in 100 students, who take “Gap-year” never go for advanced studies and struggle throughout their life to make the ends meet because of being unskilled. To conclude, the break of a year taken before pursuing university studies helps students to discover their career interest and also allows them to consolidate financially. However, for a minority of high school graduates it can lead to an end of an academic career.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
many
countries, youngsters are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
encouraged to take
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off, to work or travel across the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
embarking on their formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education. This recent trend,
also
known as “gap
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year”
, has numerous merits and a few demerits, which will
be discussed
in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the biggest advantage of taking sabbatical to explore the world is that it gives them an opportunity to discover their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
interest. Such trips are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fun,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
gives them a chance to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
, engage in volunteering, and understand global issues and global culture. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to discover their real passion which is the foundation stone for a fulfilling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
For instance
, data from Harvard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
, 2010, pointed out that drop-out rate from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
courses is around 10 percent less in those children who chose the course after taking a “gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year”
in comparison
to those who headed straight to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
after the high school.

In addition
to this, working for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the financial burden of higher education to an extent. As the advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
are costly in most countries, working for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in saving money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
borrow less money and are under less financial debt, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
higher studies.

In contrast
to above viewpoints, the most significant disadvantage of such a break is that it can be a distraction from
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
students find such breaks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
relaxing and enjoyable that they decide to shun
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
permanently
.

Although the incidences of such cases are few, the effects can be disastrous for their
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
For instance
, a 2010 report from Florida
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
revealed that 1 in 100 students, who take “Gap-year” never go for advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and struggle throughout their life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
being unskilled
.

To conclude
, the break of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
pursuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
students to discover their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
interest and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to consolidate
financially
.
However
, for a minority of high school graduates it can lead to an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of an academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
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IELTS essay ielts essay some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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