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Some people believe that government is responsible for disadvantaged people like jobless and homeless. do you agree or disagree?

Some would argue that government authorities are entirely reasonable for unemployed and homeless people. I completely agree with this statement because the cabinet’s policies and plans are sometimes not thoughtful which affects people’s lives. Also, if the tax money had been used in a beneficial way, there would not be unemployment and people without a home. To begin with, plans and policies passed by ministries are often not quite thoughtful as it has a significant effect on public. These laws affect the livelihood of common working-class individuals, especially the ones working labour jobs, through increased goods prices and unexpected changes that could alter daily routines. Although it affects educated skilled workers, they are not tremendously affected compared to the people doing blue-collar jobs. For example, the Indian government banned the usage of 500 and 1000 rupee notes a few years ago which resulted in a lot of people losing their jobs and some of them could not afford to pay home rents, and eventually had to vacate their rented places. Furthermore, a government has sufficient funds to help the needy through the acquired tax money from their citizens. Therefore, they should consider the welfare of their society and individuals by helping such poor people. However, this is sometimes not the case in some countries as the tax money is not used for society’s benefits but to build tourist attractions. For instance, in Australia, they have a scheme called ‘Center Link’ through which these disadvantaged people are given money for their survival. Such a scheme can be extremely helpful for these people but why would some governments do not take such responsibilities? In conclusion, I think authorities should take responsibility for helping people without jobs and homes as they were pushed to such states due to the implementation of bad regulations and decisions. Moreover, governments have sufficient funds required to improve the life of the needy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
authorities are
entirely
reasonable for unemployed and homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the cabinet’s policies and plans are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
not thoughtful which affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Also
, if the tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Consider replacing this phrase with the adverb “beneficially” to avoid wordiness.
in a beneficial way
, there would not be unemployment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without a home.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, plans and policies passed by ministries are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
not quite thoughtful as it has a significant effect on public. These laws affect the livelihood of common working-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
individuals,
especially
the ones working
Possible spelling mistake. ‘labour’ is British English.
labour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, through increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
prices and unexpected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that could alter daily routines. Although it affects educated skilled workers, they are not
tremendously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
doing blue-collar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
For example
, the Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
banned the usage of 500 and 1000 rupee notes a few years ago which resulted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
losing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them could not afford to pay home rents, and
eventually
had to vacate their rented places.

Furthermore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has sufficient funds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the needy through the acquired tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from their citizens.
Therefore
, they should consider the welfare of their society and individuals by helping such poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
not the case in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries as the tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for society’s benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to build tourist attractions.
For instance
, in Australia, they have a scheme called ‘Center Link’ through which these disadvantaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their survival. Such a scheme can be
extremely
helpful for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
do not take such responsibilities?

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
authorities should take responsibility for helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and homes as they
were pushed
to such states due to the implementation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
regulations and decisions.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have sufficient funds required to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the life of the needy.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that government is responsible for disadvantaged people like jobless and homeless.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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