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It is better for children if the whole family including aunts, uncles and so on are involved in a child’s upbringing, rather than just their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many today feel that is important for the entire extended family to play a role in child-rearing, while others feel that parents are sufficient. In my opinion, the whole family should be part of the process. Those who doubt the value of the whole family in raising children often point out the potentially negative influence of particular relatives. In an ideal world, each family member would impart their own unique, mature perspectives in the interests of raising a well-rounded child. In practice, many relatives are more likely to serve as bad examples or contradict the efforts of the parents. The best case scenario with such individuals is confusion and in more extreme cases it could lead to developmental problems. There is even the possibility that a close relative is engaging in physical or mental abuse of a child without the parent’s awareness. Nonetheless, the instances above are exceptions that can be dealt with on a case-by-case basis; in most families extra help lessens the burden on parents. A good example of this would be in countries with very tight-knit families such as in Asia and South America. There it is very common for aunts, uncles and the extended family to lend a hand with raising children. The main benefits of this are for parents and children. Parents get a much needed break from looking after their kids. Children benefit from the undivided attention of their relatives. When they come back home, their mother and father are also more likely to feel recharged and fully engaged in parenting duties having had some time to themselves. In conclusion, though there are rare situations where the whole family raising a child can be a negative, it is important for parents to receive support from relatives. Parents should strive to have this familial environment in order to raise well-adjusted adults.
Many
today
feel
that is
important
for the entire extended
family
to play a role in child-rearing, while others feel that
parents
are sufficient. In my opinion, the whole
family
should be part of the process.

Those who doubt the value of the whole
family
in
raising
children
often
point out the
potentially
negative
influence of particular
relatives
. In an ideal world, each
family
member would impart their
own
unique, mature perspectives in the interests of
raising
a well-rounded child. In practice,
many
relatives
are more likely to serve as
bad
examples or contradict the efforts of the
parents
. The best case scenario with such individuals is confusion and in more extreme cases it could lead to developmental problems. There is even the possibility that a close
relative
is engaging in physical or mental abuse of a child without the
parent’s
awareness.

Nonetheless, the instances above are exceptions that can
be dealt
with on a case-by-case basis; in most
families
extra
help
lessens the burden on
parents
. A
good
example of this would be in countries with
very
tight-knit
families
such as in Asia and South America. There it is
very
common for aunts, uncles and the extended
family
to lend a hand with
raising
children
. The main benefits of this are for
parents
and
children
.
Parents
get
a
much needed
break from looking after their kids.
Children
benefit from the undivided attention of their
relatives
. When they
come
back home, their mother and father are
also
more likely to feel recharged and
fully
engaged in parenting duties having had
some
time to themselves.

In conclusion
, though there are rare situations where the whole
family
raising
a child can be a
negative
, it is
important
for
parents
to receive support from
relatives
.
Parents
should strive to have this familial environment in order to raise well-adjusted adults.
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IELTS essay It is better for children if the whole family including aunts, uncles and so on are involved in a child’s upbringing, rather than just their parents.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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